Wait and see or let it go?
FETSANIE0530 - Jul 14 2014 at 06:58
I'm new to all of this so please be patient with me. I'm sorry if my post here is too long.. I tend to get carried away with things. Please read this in its entirety and give me some feedback.
Not sure how it got this bad but my head is all mixed up. Need some help or advice. Do I give up and let go or hold on to the hope that this could be the one and I just need to be patient. After all, "good things come to those who wait".
Back story: Everyone has an idea or dream in their head of what they want in a partner. I have always been one of those people who "settled for less" because I always thought that what I wanted was "out of my league".
Well, I finally found someone who fits all of my criteria and more. Not only that but he actually showed interest in me!!! We went on a few dates. Now I am completely and foolishly stuck on him. Can't even give anyone else a fair chance because they don't measure up to what he is and how he made me feel.
Problem is, I can't have him. Not now anyway. No, he isn't married! He is just very busy with things in his life; he has a lot of stressful things to deal with and he says now is not a good time in his life for a relationship. He has said that there definitely would have been a chance if we had met later in life when he is done with school and things settle down.
The smart side of me (my brain), says I need to let him go and move on. I'm 99% sure we will never be together. He will be leaving for school soon and I fear I will never see or hear from him again. However, the stupid hopeless romantic side tells me that this could be the one and I just need to be patient. I'm scared to let go because, as much as I fear this is only going to leave me brokenhearted, I also fear that if I let him go I'll never feel that way again.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Why does the issue have to be so black and white? Could you possibly keep up a friendship with him while still exploring your own dating scene, and if the time comes when he's ready for a relationship and you haven't found anybody else, it could work out, right?
Basically, my advice would be to keep looking for opportunities to move on while keeping his friendship. Don't wanna get too stuck :/
I don't know. I guess I have a bad habit of making things more complicated than they should be. I also have a tendency to develop strong feelings a little more quickly than most people. It's really bad, almost pathetic!
This all started about a year ago. We went out once and talked on the phone a lot over the summer. I was able to open up to him about things I never even talked to my ex husband about. The he went back to school and everything sort of stopped.
I had written it off as I would never hear from him again. Like he was just looking for sex and I didn't give it to him so he moved on. I tried to move on and forget about him. I went out with a couple guys and it just didn't work. Its like I was either unconsciously comparing them to him or I felt like I was "settling" again.
Then out of the blue he sent me a message and I completely melted. He apologized and said school was really chaotic last year. He is very focused on school and making something of himself and that makes me want him even more. We talked a lot and got together for dinner and a movie the other night. Now I'm stuck all over again. I'm scared that history will repeat itself and he'll disappear again only this time it will be permanent. This time he will be moving away to go to a different school to continue pursuing his degree.