Going away again

My husband is going to germany in september for 4 days for training with some other work colleagues. He kepted it from me because he knows I get jealous and feels it because he as been to italy for 5 days years ago when he worked for another company. He as had so many days training over the years even in this country that he as spent days away and I have never ever had more then one or two nights away from him and that was on my own in this country. He said he wouldn't have to spend as much time away in this job and I never for one minute thought he would be going abroad. Im sick of always watching him go away and still here when he gets back and I dont have anyone to go away with myself or have the money Im debating if to go to college or get a job at the moment. He says he wished it was only for two nights hut I know he must love it going on a plane away from the house and me and I wished to god I never met a sales man. We have had alot of other problems with trust money and when he went to italy years ago all the men went to a lap dancing bar he denied he went yet his friend said he did. I met another man a week ago from a dating site but realise that I shouldn't of . My husband knows as he saw the message on my phone as he checked my phone behind my back I have not found him attractive of late either and wonder why I have got so jealous in the past thinking I might lose him to another. I dont kerp in touch with my family I have no friends so have no one to talk to. Im thinking of going to see a marriage counsellor to get everything off my chest and to see if I would be better of ending the marriage. My husband stormed out a week ago and our daughter said I should leave as I dont pay any rent so if we split up I will get all the blame and feel I shouldn't live here as I dont pay any rent but have no where else to ho

Your problem sounds surprisingly common and the answer lies with you. Your husband knows you get jealous and that means you have some insecurity issues. You have asked and answered your post by mentioning a marriage counselor who is the best person to visit and talk about your issues. You should go one better and take your husband with you if possible. You also need to take your own advice on board about getting a job or attending college because this will enable you to become independent and built your self confidence and esteem. Your husband has stormed out, you have met another man from a dating site and now you find your husband unattractive. These actions tell us all that your marriage is basically over. The sooner you take positive steps to either try and save it or end it, the sooner your life will begin to improve for the better.