My husband had an affair.. it's so hard

My husband and I have been in a relationship for ten years. I was 17 and he was 24. We have always been so attached to each and so much in love. We were best friends and told each other everything. We had our ups and downs just like any other relationship. At the end of the day, we always had that love for each other. He was perfect my protector, my everything. About two years ago we got married. I thought everything was great, our sex lives, I tried to be a good wife take care of my husband. I have always been laid back and trusted my husband about we're he was going and who he was seeing. About five months ago, we went through a lot he lost his job,he got arrested for fighting, his old boss was suing him. He opened up a new business and money was tight. Other then that we seemed fine. I did realize he was on his phone a lot and that he was hanging out with friends more frequently but I thought all of that was a get away from the problems that had been occurring. It bothered me that he was constantly on his phone so i started questioning it. When I questioned it, he belittled the situation. He started changing passwords and then I thought maybe there was something more. One night he fell asleep I figured out his pass code on his phone. Everything seemed normal... but then I clicked on to a friends name on text messages and it was a woman. She said go home to your ugly wife and I knew it wasn't his friend. My heart dropped to my stomach. He asked her how her tummy was. I couldn't read anymore. So in shock i woke him up, he had the look at if there was a fire in the house and said it wasn't nothing and ripped the phone out of my hand. I left to spend the night at my sisters. I couldn't sleep and came home at 4 am to see more his phone. He was fast asleep but all the messages were erased. But I did see he did google an abortion center in a town over. And it made sense he asked about her how her tummy was and I did cover him for work one day that week. At the end of it he's crying to have me back but I cant go because he's a liar. He will not admit to having sex with her let alone an abortion. He also will not call her in front of me to tell her it's over. I think he's scared she will tell me everything that had happened if he breaks her heart. He calls me crying everyday but doesn't do anything to actually get me back. I'm debating what to do.....

From what you have said, it does seem like your husband is hiding something. Changing the password, asking 'someone' how her tummy was and then deleting all the messages does not add up. Yes, this maybe an affair but why do you not confront it. Go home to him, speak to him, make him give you direct answers. You say he has deleted the telephone number? Maybe you can look through an old mobile phone bill of his and track down the number? You also say he rings you and cries but does not do anything about it? All the more reason for you to go home, demand answers and maybe find out what he is actually doing?. He is your husband. You have every right to find out what is going on. For the moment however, you really do need to pick yourself up and find out the truth.

Arrange to meet and talk to him....Lay your cards on the table....Either he tells you the truth or you will leave him no option but to seek a divorce.... Life is too short , to even comprehend spending the rest of it with this man...

Stay strong. If he wanted you back, REALLY wanted you back he would call her in front of you. He doesn't. Its easy to cry about wanting you back but a lot harder to actually do the hard stuff and fix what he has broken. He shouldn't have deleted those messages. They were to one thing that could have saved him. I would get her number and ask her what the truth is. If you even want more of his truth. If he really wanted to fix stuff he would open everything up to you, His passwords, e-mails and tell that woman in front of you that she needs to take a hike. He has lost your trust and how needs to earn it back. 10 years and he flushed it down the toilet. What a waste.