Inappropriate behavior???

Appropriate or Inappropriate Behaviour between adult male (age 33) & adolescent girl (age 12). I would like to ask to see if I possibly over reacted about the events I witnessed the other day, the adult male is my husband of 14 years and the female child is a good friend of ours daughter whom we have known since she was born. She even calls us auntie & uncle. We went over to visit our friends for the father of the girls birthday party and it was a swimming & BBQ event, the young girl I think is dying for attention as her father & mother constantly push her away. While we are swimming she clings to my husband litterally the whole time won't get off of him and begs him to pick her up and throw her and even at one point gets up on his shoulders with her legs between his neck and for me that was disturbing to watch, he never tells her to go away or that he wants a break and they play in the pool like this for over an hour. Finally everyone is ready to go eat & we walk back to their apartment to start BBQ, she still will not leave him alone and literally sits in his lap the rest of the night only getting up to go to the bathroom but goes right back to sitting in his lap like his lap is her chair. At one point during the evening the mom steps in to tell the girl to leave him alone because she kept asking him to ride her on his back like a horse around the room but he did not want to but she would not listen to him saying no. I found the whole situation disturbing because I know my husband when he wants to say No... he says NO and bottom line but it just seemed he was being unusually soft with her & I know for a fact I would not get that same treatment, so maybe my Jealousy is playing a part in all this but I would like a answer from a expert Thank you

okay. There is a point in every young girls life where the parents need to pull her aside and tell her that she is too old to have her legs wrapped around a grown mans neck, and I think that age is 12....until 20, then she can wrap her legs around a mans neck if she wants to. I wouldn't want my little girl in that position nor sitting on a mans lap at age 12. I would have pulled him aside first and let him know to back you up. Then pull the girl aside and tell her "no, your a young lady now and too old for that type of play". I'm surprised the parents didn't say any thing more. I would have told my child "no, no, no, that is inappropriate. Sit in a chair. And stay at a respectful distance to grown men when in a bathing suit". Don't get mad, get on the same page with your spouse. His mind probably wasn't even seeing anything weird about it. I think just a gentle "I really think she is too old for that type of play. Next time we go visit them lets make sure she knows that she is growing up and becoming a young lady and must sit in chairs and not ride on your shoulders any more." It ok if he doesn't see it that way. He just needs to respect your view and not allow that behavior to continue.

I tend to think that you spouse naively sees a 12 year old girl as just a harmless little kid. I think the 12 year old's hormones are kicking in, but she isn't aware of this fact. It is up to her parents to protect her at this stage of her hormone changes and guide her into how to handle her budding sexuality - but it sounds like they don't pay enough attention to her to do this. My recommendation is that you try to educate your husband regarding 12 year old girls who are becoming young women, and the crushes they can sometimes have on older men. He needs to understand why it is imperative that he keep his distance from her.