Head battered

here i am again. i met my partner 5 1/2 years ago on the internet playing online games. at the time i was with my long term partner of 16yrs we have 2 children together. but me and this online guy got on really well made each other laugh after a few months playing this online game chatting sending each other emails it hit me i had true feeling for this guy and he did for me too. anyway we decided to meet and i knew he was the one for me so i gave up my home my long term partner moved into a property with my children everything was going great with my new partner, then 3 months down the line he sent me a txt message meant for another female. he explained that he had been talking to her on this online game too and that they were just friends and there was nothing in it and he said he wouldnt play online games or get himself in that situation again,but it shocked me big time but we decided to make it work he said in time i would trust him again a year after we moved in together i moved away from my daughter she went to live with her dad but my son came with me we moved 50 odd miles away. still i didnt trust him completely but tried my hardest too. 3 more times i have caught him playing online games each time he said there was nothing in it so i started to doubt myself was i too controlling so i told myself yeah he plays online games but worry about it if something happerns so i pushed it to the back of my mind, and we have been up and down. then on saturday at home i walked in the computer room there he was on a online game i asked him what he was doing he jumped up said nothing and clicked it off but i just knew so i clicked it up and yes he had been playing yet another online game for over 4 months and there was lots of conversations from other people men and woman a few flirty but nothing to suggest anything was going on.besides these girls lived in america. but this is just eating me away inside so i confronted him again. he said there was nothing going on so i asked for proof he said that was not needed as he knew i didnt trust him anyway he has left. but we have see each other once and txt each other daily he says he needs time to see what he feels he loves me but has to be happy too and he cannot keep going on in a relationship without trust ive told him he has made me like this which he agrees but says he doesnt know what he should do? everytime i start to trust him out pops a online or something i feel so lonely so sick numb i dont know what to do for the best help me someone pleaseX is it me who has done wrong?

Sparkle, what a long story! What was wrong in the first place? I'd try and rekindle what may be left with your X, sounds like you jumped out of the swimming pool and into the sea luv! x

huh i dont understand are you saying theres nothing in it and im having a moment of madness?