Unloved

Hi.l went on holiday with my husband in self catering appartment.on our 3 day there l was ill.l had a headache,felt sick shaking even though it was 33degrees l said that l would have to go lie down.l shut the shutters .turned the air con of and evan got spear blanket out as was feeling cold.he came in the room once and asked when l was getting up to do something.told him l could not as was feeling rough said i was sorry for spoiling his day the thing is after that he never came to see if i was ok or to ask if l wanted anything,in the morning l felt a lot better,noticed that he never came to bed when asked him why he never came in to see if i was ok he said in anger could not be bothered was watching football l just let you get on with be ill i feel realy hurt and not abit loved ,he as been like this .back home l got the flu l was sweating and couching so got up to get drink and change me .thought i would go get in spear room because my side of the bed was damp and did not want to disturb him any more because new he had to get up early for wor k been in spear bed about half an hour when he burst in angry as hell told me to get back in the matrimonal bed and never do that again he would not listen to why l went in the spear room all this does not feel normal and am so hurt by his lack of inderstanding in both these matters

I don't understand why your husband would act like this. It seems as if he's trying to control you or getting mad at you for being sick or not feeling good (which is ridiculous). How long have you been married may I ask?

SusieQ I must disagree with you on you statement about "most men" are clueless when it comes to what to do with a sick woman. If you love your woman then you take care of her & her needs especially in times like that (however men should be like that all the time). Marriage is helping one another not getting mad at them when things don't go your way!

Hi BUFFALOBOB l am 62 he is 58 it is my second ad his fourth marriage,we have been together 11 years married for 8,and yes he as done this to me before.l had the flu once l just wanted to stay in bed but he would not leave me alone kept comming in asking when i was getting up,so decided to go into spear bed told him l needed some peace and rest.he was so angry he came in through me on the floor and through the mattress on the back garden,went to my daughters for a week not once did he contact me in that week,when l came back i tried to talk to him telling him how much l was hurting from his actions,but all he said was you belong in our bed,in our bedroom next to me end of conversation

Yes I must agree with susiedq, certain men do need to be guided during sickness but in your case (and I have read your other post) I think your husband requires more than just guidance. Your husband seems to be a very cold and heartless man. He does seem stuck in his ways and it looks like you will have problems in trying to make him see things how you want. You need to either put your foot down and REFUSE to be treated like a door mat. Tell him how he makes you feel and perhaps give him an option to either change or you walk.

Hi K,thanks for your answer,l am in tears right now,just spoke to him on the phone,there is just no reasoning with the man,l have tried telling him how l feel but he just goes on about the way he feels.l cannot go on like this anymore when he left a few weeks ago he left me without any money no bills have been paid and thay are all in my name he as given up is job said he does not want to work anymore told me to go on benefits,thats were l have been today

Strange in 11 years you never noticed he was selfish? Now he will not change...its in his nature. If he had to change and see reason, it should have happened in the first few years of you having met him. If you still want to try changing him around, may be give him the same treatment he gives you. Might see reason....its doubtful though since he is dominating too.

l did try and change him ,but it did not work but the last straw for me was about the smoking situation,,which l posted.what man would not put himself out for a baby,and make me choose,well my grandson comes first so he can go to hell

Hudson, sometimes we can be in a relationship yet still feel alone. Sadly, I think this applies to you. Deep down I think you know what you need to do. Whatever decision you make, just remember, you have always got this forum to come to if you need advice and support.

Thanks K,yes l know what l have to do,l am glad l found this site,it as already helped me so much