Please help!

Hi. I would really appreciate a bit of help. My boyfriend has always made a big deal about sexual activity being just between us, and that he doesn't do anything when alone and I shouldn't either. Recently, I have discovered that he is watching porn etc. when I am out or he is alone and I am not with him. I actually don't mind him watching porn or doing stuff. That's not my problem. My problem is he is looking me in the eye when he says he doesn't and wouldn't ever do stuff without me. He's lying and I know it. But why? I don't get it. And if he is lying about this, can I trust him about anything??? Please share your thoughts!

Just a thought to INVESTIGATE, don't get too upset about this... But don't forget it either. I was on the other side of the fence once, not comfortable about my sexuality. I can't be certain the same is happening here, but it MAY BE. I'd talk to him, arrange a time and place where you guys are relaxed, explain your feelings and the fact that you're not happy about being deceived. Just be blunt, speak in simple statements wherever possible, and try to convey your feelings clearly. Explain that it isn't the porn/masturbation etc that bothers you, just the dishonesty.

The basis of what he is saying to you and what he is doing be hide your back makes me think of two things. One, he is saying he isn't watching porn because he thinks that is what you want to hear. But this might not be true because he is telling you not to do anything alone. Or two, it is a physiological issue where he truly believes he shouldn't watch porn alone but he still has those uncontrollable urges and he feels deeply ashamed. Be calm about the subject and try not to act like you caught him in a lie. If it is physiological issue, he may need some help to control his urges.

Thanks for your responses, guys. I do appreciate it. SANGUINEONE, are you saying he may be doing this as he may not be comfortable with his sexuality, and this is leading him to do it? ROCKANDAHARDPLACE, do you mean when he is saying that to me, that he believes that is right, but then can't help but do it, and has a conflict about it? Sometimes he says he is tired or not in the mood for sex, but I know now that he has been doing things alone. I used to think he had a very low sex drive, but now I see where all that sexual energy was going. Any further thoughts!?!?

LADY:, Yes, I think that could be a possibility.