Relationship help please
CONFUSEDGAL - Aug 13 2014 at 02:03
Well I don't really know where to start. I've got a difficult decision to make which is going to effect life massively. I am female and 30 years old. I have two children from the same man we haven't been together for over 4 years now but have remained friends. I work as a model to support my children. I currently have my boyfriend of 7 months living with me. It wasn't my choice to have him live with me so soon I wasn't ready for it but the situation was forced due to him being made homeless very early in the relationship. I couldn't see him on the streets. I felt sorry for him I know he doesn't have many people in his life. He doesn't work and hasn't since he moved here he doesn't contribute anything financially. He does however help in the house. It makes me annoyed when I work and pay for everything and he makes out my work is nothing as its not even "hard graft" as he puts it. He says he has sleep problems an often sits up all night then sleeps during the day while I look after my children. My friends do not like that I am being mugged off. They want me to get rid asap. Despite this I do think he loves me in some kind of way. Recently I have met someone else that I like. I have liked this person from afar for over 10 years. I met them on Twitter I sent them a tweet not expecting a reply as I'm sure they have loads of offers from girls. He followed me back and we've spoken everyday since. He lives a very busy life and travels about a lot but likes to make sure I'm ok. We have met up once he worked all night then drove from his second gig of the night to see me at 4am just to sit and talk to me and hold my hand. We were supposed to meet again but I cancelled as I felt guilty. I told him I want to sort my relationship out before we start meeting up again. He said he understands and says he will wait for me if my thoughts on him haven't changed. My thoughts on him haven't changed he's so sweet and says real romantic things he never turns the conversation sexual. He's been on my mind constant and since I've spoken to him I haven't had sex with my bf. I feel so torn right now. I don't want to hurt my current boyfriend but I really like this new person and don't want to miss out on an opportunity of true happiness if it's on offer for me. As well as hurting my current bf I know he has no where to go which makes it even harder as I don't want to be responsible for making another human being homeless. My heart is telling me to go for it but I feel incredibly guilty about causing another human being pain.
You current man was homeless when you took him in. While 99% of us want and need to do the right thing by others, we often sacrifice our own happiness to a certain extent. You need to ask yourself about his 'telling' opinions about your career and his somewhat ungrateful 'lifestyle' with you.
You need to determine if you love him (you don't mention it here) or just feel sorry for him and by going by your post, the other guy has your attention but is it for the right reasons? It looks like he's been a complete gentleman going by his actions and only you and your instinct,(rather than your heart) having liked him for 10 years, can know if he is the real deal.
It really doesn't matter if your current BF loves you in some way, if you can't and don't reciprocate it, then you're basically just treading water rather than standing tall with both feet on the ground knowing who and what you need in your life.
Most importantly, your 2 children need you to be happy because if you're content and at peace, then so will they be.