How do you love the same person again and again?

Anyone of you here has an ongoing long-relationship, or had it before? I have serious doubts on love and relationship. I realized that we could NOT ABSOLUTELY put our love into one thing, or even a person. Yes, you may love that single person deeply, for a year, or maybe if you are really in love with that person, your love could go on for 10 or 20 years. WHAT happens after that? What if, you've fallen out of love? What would you do? I realize in the process of loving a person, you may have gotten a liking for someone else, but not love. You may like one or two other people at one time, but you don't love them. However, it is still putting your relationship at a risk. After several experiences of dating, I started to accept the fact that I, myself , who thought myself as a loyal and loving person when it comes to relationship, was wrong. I was in denial all the time until I discovered I could start to fall out of love within a year or two. Howevre ,during that duration of 2 years I was really in deep love...until I met someone else. Yeah, you may think, "oh, you've not found the right one that's why you fallen out of love so easily." No, I don't think this is the case. Love is a game, a game that is so complicated and difficult to WIN it. I lose every single time, and I don't know why. I'm afraid this would affect my future, and my marriage. I'm struggling to find out the causes, and mostly I'm battling within myself.. Why?

Well as far as my personal experience goes, I feel you are right. I have been married for 15 years now. There have been times where I have felt I have fallen out of love but since I felt committed I felt compelled to do something about it rather than just fall out of a relation. What I have done is each time such a phase comes, I bring in some kind of change into my life....sometimes in my character, in lifestyle, in the form of kids, try new things together and in each of these I have asked my partner to play his part and you end up falling in love once again.

I can't answer you question because That is exactly where I am at the moment and it's such a horrible feeling. We have drifted apart - I have fallen out of love. I'm distant from him and I'm getting it very hard to make the effort to do stuff together. Lost is the only word I can think of to describe how I feel. I hope you get the answer to your question and wish you all the best.

@Trisha Wow. You are right. Thanks for the advice. You really know how to make things right back in their tracks. Hopefully you'll have a good ever-lasting relationship with your partner! @LadyLilly Thank you for your response Lilly! Yeah...I've been through that once before and yeap! It's horrible.. but Lilly, when things couldn't go back to the way you wanted, it's time to let go for the better. Wish you all the best too. Life is beautiful :) @SusieDQ Thank you SUSIEDQ :) You are right about that one..people changes. We gotta work it out every now and then and dont take things for granted. Wish you all the best too !

I see a marriage as a friendship. not a partnership. When you marry your best friend, that relationship has a better chance at surviving. True friendships are hard to break, partnerships break all the time. Love comes and goes, some times you love your wife/husband madly, sometimes you don't, but the friendship is always there and that is what makes you spend time with each other. Become friends, and then the love will take care of it self.

@lococha You are so right. But how do you maintain that "friendship" relationship after you've been in love with him for so many years? Relationship will always evolve to the next level...how did you do that? Anyway,I guess your advice sparked a thought on me.. thank you for your advice ! :)

Well, I am having a lot of severe troubles with my marriage..I did abuse and betrayed my wife to the point that even the friendship we have is now the last hope I have to see if we can work things out. But for as long as you WANT to spend and do things with your friend, don't worry about the love...simply go with the flow. If you feel a lot of love, act on it. If you don't, just don't worry about it and enjoy your friendship. (See My Marriage is in Trouble thread...that's my situation)

@FurryBall - True Friendship never changes with years. Unlike love, you don't fall out of friendship feelings. You can be not in touch with a close friend for years and then you meet once, you will be amazed as to how it looks like time had stopped when you parted and now is continuing from that point. Now if you base marriage on friendship, like you said it evolves to love. Then when love disappears, you will still be left with that friendship to sort out issues. So it acts like a base layer on which you can fall back upon in times of crisis.

Some people just have ADD when it comes to love. My ex and I were together for 7 years. I always knew I loved him more than he loved me. He was CRAZY about me at first, but then for him it started to wane, despite my being an incredible girlfriend to him, if I say so myself. Men (or women) that feel this way, worried about love lasting only fleetingly, tend to be non-committal in life, period. They tend to lose interest quickly in hobbies, or jobs, or just about anything. They enjoy chasing the latest new thrill, but get bored once it becomes routine. That's really a sad way to live, because you're never truly happy. You're always looking for an upgrade, and never truly satisfied, even when you get it. This doesn't have to do with "love" so much as an individual's ungrateful attitude towards others and life in general. Real Love is not looking for someone who will make you happy, but looking for someone whom you want to make happy for the rest of your life.