Boyfriend of 4 years keeps me from his kids

My relationship began in a complicated situation four years ago. Both my bf and I had recently separated from our spouses and were trying to gain equilibrium. His wife left him and was soon involved with someone else. My husband and I had been in a dead marriage, sleeping in separate rooms, for three years, so I ended that misery. Mine was a very dysfunctional and abusive relationship.His was just ill-fated and unfulfilling, culminating in the shock of her walking away. There is an important back story to this as follows: "D" was my high school sweetheart; my first love, my first broken heart, and someone I would see regularly throughout the years. There was great passion, but he never pursued a relationship, so I resigned myself to being happy with our occasional get-togethers. Since I had first met him at age 15, I knew in my heart that he would be in my life forever. After giving him one last chance I finally accepted a proposal and married the man who would make me a mother, while he had also reacquainted with and married an old lover. I bumped into them at the mall with their baby boy one day, and long story short, became good friends with "C"- his wife. I told her of my history with "D", that I had always loved him but later knew we were just meant to be good friends, and that I was very happy they had found each other. For ten years we were friends. We had baby girls four months apart who grew up side by side. I was even godmother. Somewhere over those years it got increasingly more difficult to be "C"'s friend, as she was a very negative and painfully insecure person in stark contrast to my "glass half-full" outlook, despite the fact that I suffered from depression, anxiety, and PTSD from a lifetime of abuse. She became very cruel to the point that I had severed ties to her twice. She was also very cold toward my daughter and extremely judgemental of me. When she left "D" we had only been back in each other's lives for 6 months. I had gotten to know him better in those ten years than ever before and was devastated for him when she left. Ever thrthe Libra, I sympathized with her not being happy in the months leading up to the separation, but I always encouraged her to do whatever it takes to work it out, knowing that "D" was a great person and loving Dad. Eventually I just tried to be Switzerland to both parties. The problem started when I got tired of hearing her bash him in front of the kids whenever we would hang out. She wad drinking too much, immediately exposing her kids to the new bf, and making "D" her scapegoat. I was still giving him a shoulder to cry on and we were at ease doing stuff with our kids once or twice.The truth is we really bbcame the best of friends during that awful time. It became glaringly obvious who the better friend was, as she quickly began reverting to her previous snarky, negative self that had driven me away before. After about five months, I sat down and told her that I was making a choice between the two, and it was him; my friend of some 26 or so years. She will never get over it. She put all the guilt and blame on me and poisoned their children with lies. She threatened him with never seeing his children again if he wad going to be with me, and she slandered me saying I was an unfit parent, and that she would prove it in court with witnesses.I am a wonderful mom, a great friend, and a loving person, who had been through more than enough suffering. It devastated me to know how our actions led to the kids lives being so upset. I was able to explain to my daughter that "C" and I were just not able to be good friends to one another, and that I was sorry that meant she could no longer see her pal. Within the year she and my ex knew that "D" and I were in a committed relationship, and it was no surprise. I never pushed him for two years about bridging the gap between me and his children. He only saw them on weekends. We have now been together for four years. The past two years I have been trying to make it happen for many reasons. "C" has remarried and "D" and I plan to spend our lives together. I have told him that the longer he waits, the more difficult it will be; that he is sending a message with his apathy that makes me look and feel like a "dirty little secret". For the last year he had managed to put me off by promising to make it happen. He and I, and our children, all together again, and seeing for themselves that I am that person they once loved, who now their father loves and is happy with. Yesterday even his mother adked me about it! She was in total agreement with me, and thinks it is WAY overdue! It is not fair that his ex has moved on, yet he still lets her vehement hatred of me control what he does with regards to me and his children. Her rage and innapropriate scapegoating of me are her issues to work through. I just want to move on with happiness and love. This man has been my best friend and soul mate, and we have planned a future together. Today I feel as though this is the ladt straw as he once again tried to placate me by saying"Ok, I will try to talk to the kids about it this weekend". I love him very much, but this is BS and I deserve to be recognized and openly treasured. I have given his kids more than enpugh time to adjust. I have loved them since birth! I don't think it is right that his ex made me out to be a monster that ruined their lives and stole their Dad. Just to clarify, I did no such thing, as she was the one to leave him. This eats at me just under the surface all the time. I have had to fight my whole life and I am finally able to love myself enough to put my foot down, knowing I am better alone than feeling another second of shame that is so grossly undeserved. Badically I feel like he does not have my back. Sorry to ramble on, but I really need some good advice because my best friend in this world died suddenly in June, and I feel so lost. Thanks to all who take the time to read this and respond. V