I'm going to die

Hi everybody, all what i'm asking here only some help because i'm really lost in my lonely world ,, i'm a nice girl , very beautiful , still young (20yrs), without bad habits , good student ,well- educated .... but all this discribtion it's nothing now cuz i thought that i'm going to have a nice man in my life and i married to someone from another origine (38yrs well that's after i discovered that he lied he told me at first time 30yrs) so he dosen't appreciate who i am & doesn't even deserve me ,, he's so mean , soo jealous , a big lier , he dosn't trust me , and i feel that he totally changed after marriage , the problem is that i made a biggest mistake in my life ever from the beginning i had some doubts of marring him and now i realize that i was truly correct so after 6 monthes of my sad & cold marriage i met someone from my country and simply we fell to love together and i found the one that i dreamed about , i love him until my last breath & the problem that he dosn't know i'm married ?! what i have to do plz help me i have nobody in my side even my family they pushing me to stay in that marriage i'm bearing so much and i cry every night

Do what is right for you as your family are probably more worried about their reputation if you get divorced than how happy you are in your life. There are so many pressures these days without having to worry about what is going on in your relationship, so you need to do what your heart tells you to, otherwise you could make yourself ill. The fact that you have such a big age difference could be the main reason for your problems, in the fact that you have different interests? Maybe he is treating you like an object of his, and wants to control you - waiting until you got married so that you would find it more difficult to leave him when you found out who he really was?

thnx for ur reply & you absolutely right , he wants to controle me & he knows that the diffrence of age is a main problem but personally i thought if i married someone older than me he ll be more mature but looks i am the mature person in this relationship , i gave him so much chances to change himiself to better , but i can\'t bear that whol my life , as u said i have to follow my heart ! so i think i have to ask for divorce and no matter what my family are affraid about their reputation because isn\'t fair to waste my life with someone dosn\'t appreciate me & nobody will accepte that so i think this is the right time to live my life and i must to be honnest with the one that i love and hope he would accept that because he had the idea of marring me & living me with me forever as long he loves me , are u agree with me ? or i\'m doing something wrong !