Advice regarding an ex

Brand new here so please forgive me if this question is in the wrong place. I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person and as such, I rarely, if ever, find myself in a situation where I have absolutely no idea what I should do. But that is where I am now. The Background: * My ex-girlfriend and I parted ways a number of months ago. * The split was amicable. * We remain very good friends, in fact, I count her amongst, if not my best, friend(s) * She feels the same way about me The Issue (I'll try to summarize just the facts here): * She has a new man in her life and while she seems generally happy, she has expressed a lot of frustrations to me about her new relationship. * Including that they have "trust issues" * She said she sometimes thinks he is hiding something from her and also that he does not fully trust her to the point that he monitors her phone like a hawk for incoming text messages, emails etc . . . * Recently, I have come across some information that he may be hiding a past relationship and that he cheated on her back in August when she was away on vacation. How I came about this is a long story but I will add that I am not 100% sold on the info being reliable. For the sake of discussion, lets say the odds of this being true are slightly better than 50/50. ***Caveat***: I say slightly better than 50/50 because a lot of the things I found out when I heard about the potential cheating I know for a fact are true. In other words, the context in which the cheating was presented to me makes perfect sense. Its the source that I question. I hope that makes sense and I truly apologize for being so cryptic here but I wanna keep this under 10,000 words :-) So my question is this: Do I tell her? More accurately, do I SHOW HER the questionable proof I have (its a text message conversation) I am gonna see her tonight so I am under the gun to answer this question and I know she is gonna know something is on my mind when I see her. She knows me too well and has always had this 6th sense when something is on my mind. I should add we dated for a long time and while I absolutely cherish her friendship, I cannot help but think a part of me is not capable of looking at this objectively because my feelings for her run so darn deep. I ask myself, "What do I want to happen if I tell her" and I just don't know the answer to that. I am lost. I honestly have no idea what I should do, so I turn to the huddled masses of the anonymous internet for help :) Should I tell her? Should I not tell her? I am really lost here and anyone who might have two cents to throw on this problem would be in my debt. Peace Walrus

Bit of a complicated one. I say complicated because of the history you both have. You could mention it to her and like any normal human reaction she will mention it to him AND depending on how she really feels for him, he (if the claims are true) will just tell her a huge sob story as to why he did what he did. They both will then work it out between them BUT he will not be happy with you SO he could start manipulating the situation and put her against you. Outcome? You lose her. The information you have is related to his past SO he could easily get himself out of it and in all honesty, why shouldnt he? This was his past right? If I were you, I would refrain from mentioning anything just yet. If she already has a feeling that he is up to no good, I am sure he will get caught out.

SUSIEDQ is correct, be careful about coming in between two people in a relationship. Your ex may be confiding to you about her fears and doubts, but all you need to do is to be there to listen to her as a friend does. Your ex needs to act rather than speak and if her bf is in fact cheating, everything will come out in the wash eventually.

"How I came about this is a long story but I will add that I am not 100% sold on the info being reliable. For the sake of discussion, lets say the odds of this being true are slightly better than 50/50. ***Caveat***: I say slightly better than 50/50 because a lot of the things I found out when I heard about the potential cheating I know for a fact are true. In other words, the context in which the cheating was presented to me makes perfect sense. Its the source that I question. I hope that makes sense and I truly apologize for being so cryptic here but I wanna keep this under 10,000 words :-)" 1. Liars will commonly frame their lies within truths, so that means nothing. 2. A text message is still only hearsay, not evidence. 3. I'm not huddled, I'm fully erect ("ooh, matron!") so I say, rather: for the sake of discussion, LET'S hear the full 10,000 words... certainly if you want to extricate the black and white pixels from the grey to discern whether this in fact isn't such a grey, rock-and-hard-place issue after all, oui?

Telling her as of now is a huge risk. Don't do that. How about finding another reliable source to verify facts? Or some better proof?