At my wits end!!!!

Hello, i am new to this and i have some much to say so please forgive me if this is rather long post. I was in a relationship for little over 13 years. For that entire time, i wasnt allowed much like friends and a social life. What little i had involved a computer. When i tried to make friends i was accused of cheating so i stopped trying. I wasnt allowed alot of thing while in this relationship like a car or even privacy to talk to whom i could on the phone. I had a successful business and i wasnt allowed to use the the money for whatever i needed because bills always came first. Years pass and i sold the business thinking that maybe it would help things but it only made it worse. Shortly afterwards he dumps me. He still controls the money and how it is spent. I have to give things like my cell phone being turned on. I cant find a job and money has gotten tighter. I am mother as well so knowing my girls see me struggle makes it worse on me but what is even worse is that it come to punishing my girls, i am over righted on everything. When i take things away they are given back. When i ground them, they are let off days early. And now we have broken up and still live together cause i cant afford to move out and take my girls with me. And still things are worse. My oldest talks to rude and simply does as she pisses. When i try to correct her and even punish her, she just runs to him and starts more conflict. I am exhausted from all of this and i try ask him to stop doing this but i am ignored. I dont know whatelse to do except pack me and my girls but that requires money which is something i dont have. And i am afraid of the fact that if i did leave he would would not stop looking for me until he found me. I wish that he could actual see what he is doing but he wont and so i am stuck. I am lost and tired and not sure to do. My stress is so high. I cant sleep cause i have to keep a constant eye around me. What can I do in this?

Hello, I have read your problems that you are facing with you and your ex and your children. I first want to say I am very sorry this is going on. I know that money is tight and I am sure the last place you want to go to for shelter is your ex home. I will say this you need to stand up and take a command role weather or not you have the income capacity Is not the concern. I feel like all parents would feel as a mother or father role your children come first. I think that your children have abused your role leadership because of your income and your Ex. Well that I think needs to be changed. once you let them, and you Ex know that he cant be the Guiney pig anymore and your children understand that too the better you will get that respect back and leadership back. Sometimes you have to take the "gloves off" and say wait a minute I still have a say in what happens what I say is what I say. There are consequences for actions that go unjust and It wont be fun to be the "Big Bad Wolf" sometimes that's what you need to be so your children know that boundary line PS: If you want to talk more in detail and more about this I am more than happy to talk more about it Good luck to you and your family I wish the best !!!

No, it doesn't cost money. It's called a Women's Refuge Centre and it takes in women like you who are psychologically, emotionally and financially abused, not just physically. He's undermining your motherly authority as his way of bashing you. You have to get out NOW so that your kids will grow up with socially acceptable personalities, and, assuming you and he aren't legally married, apply through the Child Support Agency for child maintenance, and try to find a job so that you can eventually support yourself and your kids. If you were in a refuge he would have an impossible time trying to track you down or get hold of you. Refuges are exceptionally careful when it comes to security and not letting anyone non-official and non-vetted know the names, ages, etc., of any of their residents. They also give you all the support you need when it comes to eventually leaving the refuse and going it alone.