Should I feel guilty all the time??

Hi I am in the most amazing relationship ever, I love him so so much and always want to be with him forever, a couple of years ago my x boyfriend came to the town I live in to stay the night and go out on the town, I was living with a friend at the time and not my partner, anyway of course we got completely drunk and fell back to my little flat at all hours.. we both jumped into my bed completely smashed... I gave him a kiss on the cheek and fell asleep.. waking up with him wrapped around me.. (we had all our clothes on) when I first woke my back was to him and I thought it was my boyfriend,, firstly I hugged back then I turned around and freaked, throwing him out, he swore blind that nothing had happened and that he had not done anyting to me while I was asleep but I feel like he could have, as he is not the most thrustworthy person AT ALL.. I feel like I betrayed my boyfriend for having another man in my bed.. and I feel like I should tell him.. its nearly 2 years on and I still think about it so so much, my best friend thinks that I am traumatiesd as I could have been vialated against in my sleep... well he def did not have sex with me I think I would know, but he prob did feel me up.. I know my partner, it would absolutly end our relationship if he found out that I had even been in the same bed as my x.. but I feel I dont deserve the happiness I have with this in the back of my mind, also my mind goes completely mental making up things that could have taken place and I get little panic attacks.. often.. especially when I am low.. What would you advise me, and would you tell??? I feel I deserve the guilt as he should not have been in my room even, but I was very drunk (not that that is an excuse) Please help me..

I think it would be best for you to not say anything to your boyfriend; to realize that maybe nothing happened... just let it go. And enjoy your real relationship with your boyfriend, make the best of your present life.

Hmmm, I can see what you mean. So, you're in a relationship with someone who you think is amazing, right? If you don't feel comfortable talking to him about some things, he isn't that perfect. As to your situation, here's what I say. You don't have to tell him, it probably would be best. Are you christian? If you are then you should try maybe going to your church one night (or whenever) and really really open yourself up to God. If you do that, and just tell God everything, then you will feel clensed inside and you can continue to not let him know and not feel guilty. On the other hand, you can pray to him for forgiveness and tell him that the reason you won't tell your boyfriend is for his own good. Sometimes it's better when people lie. If you're not christian, then disregard that and just maybe lay in a comfortable place alone for a long while with no music or anything and mentally clear yourself of this guilt you carry. Others can help you fix how you're feeling, but only you can execute it.