Friend is copying my life

Hi everyone, I will try to make this short. A friend of mine has recenlty started the same study as I did some years ago.I know she admires my life, the house I life in and my job cause she told me she also wants to life in the same city. Now she mailed me she has a internship at a company very close to mine. She lives in another city o it's pretty obvious she basicly wants to be as close as she can to my work. She also wants it cause there are a lot of men working there and she mailed me: hey i am following a internship very close to your company! and there are also very nice people there and nice men! haha " thats how she typed it.... I recenlty told her i was attracted to a men on my work...Unfortunely I was so friendly to say: "how nice you also have a lot of nice men there! " Haha But I regret mailing her back cause now she does not understand it's a bit annoying to want excacly the same as me. It feels like she wants to enter my world of work and I was so open to her about my company and I wish I didnt share all of that information with her. It's ot the same company but they are related to eachother and have lines with eachother and she knows this. I have my own place and I am happy to go to my work. I just like to keep my private life and work separate.Now what to do: 1. Confront her and tell her friendly that I just find it very obvious that she wants the same as me, and that i think its better if she chooses her own path rather then wanting the same as me. 2. Just tell her nothing anymore, keep some distance, no insight information about my work and don't ask anything about that internship and if she tells me just react like:" oke well nice for you". Cause if I tell her I don't like it it may make her want it more, and if I don't pay attention to it all and just act like nothing happened maybe it will wear off and she will find a internship next year much more closer to her home. Does my positive reaction to her mail make it worse and make her think it's not a problem to me at all? You see I can understand when people say why are you bothered by this, what is your problem? But it just feels weird she does this, it feels she is copying cause she also wants to live in the same city and also the same job. Why not another company in another neighbourhood, there are so many in this city!

In other words, you were happy to somewhat move on from how the relationship between you and she had previously stood in terms of closeness, but - her not feeling the same way, quite the opposite - you now feel she has a firm hold on you because of all you felt you were safe to divulge, the tacit message now striking you as: "You'll always be my friend (- I know too much)." Well, I wouldn't worry. It's her word against yours, surely? Or does she permanently keep your email correspondence? Even if - it's still her word against yours because it's not exactly difficult to edit saved emails and claim the words/statements to be as originally typed. Courts know this, which is why emails are treated with great skepticism or downright cynicism. They say mimicry is the sincerest form of flattery, but I disagree, I'm with you. It indicates a personality or emotional issue on the part of the copycat, even if merely one of greater attachment to you than is strictly healthy. You cannot, however, control her choices and movements. So [1] is out. If anything it'll just antagonise her and make her feel pre-revenge is called for (and despite her word against yours, you don't even want to have to GO there, do you). [2] is the ticket. Stay friendly-sounding and blame over-busyness. Normally I prescribe total honesty but she obviously isn't the type strong enough to be capable of dealing with that in any mature manner. Were she, she'd be doing as a mature adult does - finding her own way and not basically stalking you in this under-the-table, at-a-distance fashion. Chances are, anyway, that once she's got her feet more under that new table she'll make new friends and no longer need you quite so much or at all. (It's too easy for people who've not been in this position to wonder what your problem is, so I wouldn't pay any notice of what they reckon.) Hope that helps.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my post and for your advice soulmate! I will try to keep distance and just see how it goes, hoping next year she will get an internship in her own city.

You're very welcome, EvelinA82. :-)

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