What should I do?

Well im new to this but i have a relationship problem and i need some advise. maybe some of you have been in the same situation... my situation is, that i have a guy friend i have feelings for. we are very close for almost a year now. we hanging out a lot. sometimes only the two of us, sometimes with a group of friends (mainly his friends). he even introduced me to his family. anyway, since we started to hang out we hooked up a couple of times. we didnt have sex but we kissed and cuddled. my problem is, that every time we get comfortable with each other or close he pulls away. so first i thought he is not that into me and i pulled away myself. i went away for three month anyway and used the chance to cut off any contact to him. after a few weeks he started contacting me and telling me, that he misses me. as soon as i was back he wanted to see me. i decided to give him another chance. now im upset cause the same thing happened again. he was charming and put so much effort in. last week he stayed at my place for 2 days because my flatmates were gone. we had a good time, and i was happy things were working out. since then i havent heard from him... i called him twice but im too proud to call again or send msg. i know he will come around in his own time. im very upset with myself i let it happen again. i still dont know what his attentions are. so what should i do. should i quit the whole friendship and move on or should i talk to him and tell him how i feel. i know he likes me a lot but he really seems to have a huge problem with intimacy. im almost sure it wont change. do you know any people who act the same way? or maybe you are like that yourself and can tell me whats the reason for such a behavior? i will appreciate all comments. thks :)

I'm afraid he sounds like he's trying to lure you via your ego and hopes into the position of an FWB, in the process proving he's perfectly okay about risking losing the friendship for good. (I think your confusion has partly come from the fact it's more of a big deal to you to get introduced to someone's family than it is for him.) At the moment he doesn't feel he's in any real danger of losing his association with you because the minute he starts licking your hand and making little puppy dog noises, back you come. And not just back, but ready to have sex with him again (and this time, for 2 whole days at a stretch). Therefore, what he's 'coming around' to is not his readiness to start a full-blown relationship with you, just the fact of his you-know-whats aching. I personally would quit the ACQUAINTANCESHIP because he's proving he neither sees you as a true friend nor girlfriend-to-be... which leaves you with WHAT? The giver of sexual services in return for, not standard cash notes but a false impression of imminent payment in the form of a relationship. Yes, I think many immature young men WOULD like a lot the supplier of such a benefit if friendship-based qualities weren't something they were all that bothered about.

It seems that your relationship with him is a bit one-sided. You obviously value him and like him a lot, while he appears to be just casual with you... "friends with benefits," so to speak. If you want to take your relationship to the next level with him, then you need to make yourself more desirable as a "prize" in his eyes. This means that you shouldn't always be readily available for him whenever he wants companionship or sex. My advice: stop contacting him and tell him that you need some time to yourself. If he does come around and tries to get in contact with you via text message or something similar, then just give him a straight direct reply like so: Him: "Hi babe, how are you doing?" You: "Just fine. I'm a bit busy right now though." Him: "Really? Care to tell me about it." You: "No. As I said, I'm busy." You might think that this is being cold, but he's been giving you the same treatment as well and look at how it's made you feel about him. You're pining away for him whenever he doesn't get in contact with you -- so why not give him a taste of his own medicine? If he does choose to see you in person, don't give in to his emotional speeches and just try to calmly ascertain what he really wants you from you. If you can, just tell him directly that you want a serious relationship with him and you don't want him to play you like a fool. Be assertive and independent so that he'll see that you are not someone he can mess around with and that you can stand on your own with or without him.

Hey guys thks for the comments so far. It's really helpful. I think i have him a taste of his own medicine by not talking to him for 2 month. But afterwards he fell back in the same pattern. I think that is why i got so frustrated. But anyway i just going to concentrate on other things now. Guess it's a hopeless situation. Just needed to hear that from someone else :)