Should I move in with him?

Ok. So this is a long story. I will try and keep it short. I have been dating a man who lives 4 1/2 hours from me. We have fallen in love. Deeply. We have been dating exclusively for 16 months. The issue is he want's me to move in with him. I have a son. ( He will hardly ever be able to visit with his father if I move.) I live in an apartment, the man I am dating owns his own home. The man I love is not the best guy in the world. He is an alcoholic. He is not abusive, but he is set in his ways and has issues with his mouth sometimes. I have health issues, he seems to think they are all in my head, but they are not. I am on disability and depend on Child Support and Alimony to make ends meet. He works full time, but for low pay. He has had DUI's and can't seem to hold a job for more than a few years. He is 51 and I am 44. Combining our incomes would be a big plus for us both. I raise my son in a christian home. I don't smoke in my house, never have alcoholic drinks in front of him. I don't cuss often and I like to keep my home peaceful and harmonic. My boyfriend is the opposite. He has a " large and in charge" personality. What he says goes no matter what. He is the Man...so to speak. MY problem is this. I absolutely love this man. I feel at home in his arms and we cry for each other when we are apart. We have dated mostly without my son around because I can only get away when he is with his Dad on certain weekends. I feel alone and lost without my man. But I am afraid if I just up and move in with him that my son will regress from the progress we have made getting over the "Divorce" and the fact that my man is so set in his ways he may be verbally abusive to my son, which on occasion when I have visited him with my son he has said things to hurt his feelings and mine as well. He seems to think I baby and spoil my son. He also has made comments that my son can do certain chore requirements on his farm while he is at work and that my son would be happier there with things to do and work to make him feel proud instead of being couped up in this apartment we live in sitting behind his computer all day. He swears he will make more of a man out of my son by being a real dad to him and teaching him and doing 'guy' things with him which he has never proven the entire time I have dated him. We stayed with him for a week one time and he just worked, came home, drank a few beers ate dinner fussed a little and went to bed. When he goes to bed he expects every one else to do the same whether they are tired or not. Also, my son says if I move in with my fella, he will not go and move in with his dad. He likes the guy but he said he couldn't live with him. I don't want to loose my son. but at the same time I don't want to be alone and without what makes me happy too. I am so lonely. I have no one. NO family to turn to , not many friends that aren't bias in their opinions. My mind says don't move in with him it will be a mistake....my heart says do it, pursue your happiness. Any advice? Am I kidding myself because I am so lonely that I am so desperate to move in with a man that I love with all my being even though he is so wrong for me?

Alchohol will always come first nothing else matters

My advice: Don't do it. Don't move in with him -- not in your current mindset. If you just blindly follow your heart without thinking of the consequences of your actions through first, then this relationship is bound to end in failure. Look at it from this perspective: you think that you love this man, and it's true that you are probably attracted to him, but this attraction stems from a psychological unmet need -- the need for company, as you have admitted yourself that you are lonely and that he is the answer to your loneliness. On the other hand, you have already looked at things from a pragmatic perspective and you realize that you will lose your son if you make this move and your future does not seem very certain together with this man -- who apparently has a very dominant personality. Now I'm not saying that it's the wrong decision to get together with him, but I am saying that if you get together with him for the wrong reasons, then this relationship will not last very long and you might be surprised at the number of problems that pop up once you do start living together. Also, you've basically given out a number of red flags against this guy including -Being an alcoholic -Being prone to verbal abuse (towards your son) -Dominant controlling personality trait (I go to sleep, everyone else should) You might be happy together with him for the first few months or even years of living together, but IMHO, it won't last once the initial passion in your relationship dies out. I would suggest reading this article on choosing a good spouse (which applies to just choosing to live together with someone as well): http://www.relationshippsychology.com/marriage/saving-your-marriage-before-it-starts

No brainer. Do not move in with him. I understand you are lonely but do something constructive about it. Join a group, find a hobby, make friends, volunteer. Your son deserves better.

Judging by the length of your message I can deduce you want us to say to give him a chance, but you read your message with our eyes you would clearly see that the answer is a big, fat, obese, humongous NOOOOOO! It's a no brainer. You can do better. Much better. Believe it. We can fall in love with the lowest pieces of crap if we give them the chance. And this is what you did. You gave him a chance. And as it is, you let it drag to long! End it, or AT THE VERY LEAST, DO NOT move in with him. Not worth it! -------------------------------------------- http://everythingcouples.com/couples-bucket-list/

Thank you all for your advice. I know what I need to do...or not do now...this just confirmed it for me.