Work crush is dating the boss and likes me back??

Okay, I should specify more on this, considering I looked up this simplified question and found a lot of varying results and I'm ready for my own specific results. I am so confused, and this might be kind of long but I need advice bad! I am 21(f) and my crush from work is 30(m). He is very shy, odd, plays video games, seems way younger than he is and acts as if he doesn't know much about women, or the world. BUT he has been married once before when he was really young, and had kids with her, so it makes me wonder if he's not being honest about that, or if it was one of those young/dumb mistakes. He has said once before that his ex wife was a 'terrible person'. He is sensitive to criticism, even joking kind. He just all around seems behind on social cues and maturity, but still is humble and quiet. Also, he is now currently dating a 39(f) year old who is kind of our boss. He has told me before "She get's mad at me and I don't know why", and she herself has mentioned that he's 'stupid' and wants to keep him that way. They have been together for the duration of me working there which is about a year and a half. She is known around work for dating employees and dumping them after finding someone better, but I try to curb the rumors, she seems like a decent person. I work there with my roommate, who also thinks he likes me, but thinks he is too afraid of breaking up with her because he might get fired. She also doesn't see what they have in common, and thinks she is using him and is way out of his league. I think it's because she is like a mother figure to him, and he doesn't want to lose that. I myself am super inexperienced. I'm a virgin, with no relationship past. I think that's why I feel a chemistry between us because he has always seemed shy and quiet like I have, and he likes just about everything I do, which sucks even more. I don't normally jump to these conclusions, I have been anti-relationship for a while due to social anxiety disorder and depression. When me and my roommate met him, he fixed something for us and then decided to invite us over for a small 'party' which he also invited his girlfriend to, and she didn't want to come, she said she did arrange the party though (not sure what is true). and at first I thought he liked my roommate, because she is alot like his current girlfriend, in age and personality and appearance. I am the opposite, so I tried to curb my crush through the party. We all were drinking and he kept sitting near me and he laid his head in my lap and he was being kind of flirty, and I was so confused because he doesn't act out right flirty unless he's drinking. He would ask me a lot about me and actually be considerate of my shyness, which is why he threw the very small party. He used to want to talk at work a lot and now it seems like he's avoiding me, and his girlfriend is hovering way more now, and acting more affectionate to him while they are around people (she gets loud and show-offy) but was known for being kind of ashamed to be seen with him. He will still talk to me if we happen to be in the same place and he lingers longer than he should. And he seems sad that I don't reciprocate because I don't want to be a homewrecker and I'm scared that he is testing to see if I like him so he can break up with her. Other times I think he's pretending to be a nice guy to get an ego boost from my crush on him. and I don't want to date or hookup behind his girlfriend's back, I want to do it the right way, but I want to know if I'm reaching or not. Is it weird and naive to think that he could like me and be too afraid to dump his gf? Is he playing with my feelings?

Agree. RR, don't feel you have to sell yourself short just because you're a virgin and cripplingly shy. A lot of blokes find the latter highly attractive (and the former is none of their business to begin with, anyway, until it becomes their business). If you're scared of attempting anything with a "whole" man, don't settle for half a one. Wait until the RIGHT whole one comes along. You're clearly ripe for a relationship so, what with those vibes oozing out of you, I doubt it'll be very long now.

I guess i find him attractive because he seems a lot like me. I see him aas way out of my league and he's never given me reason to think he would cheat or be a jerk. I don't mind his childishness.

But he's taken. So here's you giving him one excuse after another for why he hasn't finished it with his current partner (despite he does know you'd welcome him like a shot). Those two obviously have problems. Don't let them drag you into their mess, Stanley. Because that's all you'll be. A catalyst and teething ring.

You're so right. UGH, I do keep making excuses for him when in all honesty, he's a 30 year old man, he should be able to do what he wants, or doesn't want. And if he's 'afraid' of his girlfriend, then that's his problem and not mine. I just wanted to see good in it/him so bad that I keep overlooking all the horrible flaws, guess I am more naive than I thought! Thank you guys for this, I needed some outside perspective. I can't wait or waste my time with him or her, and maybe one day he'll wonder why he didn't get a chance.

Ah, but he DID get a chance. And more than just the one. But, anyway, that's more like it - good for you! Out of your league. PFF. Ten places under your own, more like! Well, YOU wouldn't be behaving like that if you were him, would you. So league case closed.