Worried I am going to slip

When i first came on here i was drinking a bottle of wine or 4 cans of beer or cider a night i never realy drank any more than that so don't consider myself as an alcoholic , however i do have a problem as i was unable to stop so i decided to stop drinking for 3 months and then see how i feel....that was 6 months ago and have not touched a drop , but lately i've been struggling and have been thinking about drinking again , i keep thinking what if i can have the odd drink now and then...what if i'm ok and i am missing out on the ocasional drink , my 40th birthday is coming up and i would love to have a couple of glasses of wine but i'm scared that i will go down the same old road again, but what if i'm ok can I drink normaly?

My suggestion : try it. You will soon find your answer. I did exactly that - felt good, sober, etc etc said now I could have a few glasses of wine, and ended up on the floor in my house! With my husband aghast! (he also thought that I could now drink normally - we both know differently) For me, I had to see that for myself. However, in your case, what's the worst that could happen you could end up drinking a bottle of wine? That's not in my opinion a problem - but if you find yourself then wanting to do that every day...well, then you have your answer, and it will strengthen you further for your next go at abstinence. You don't believe you're an alcoholic so maybe suggesting an AA meeting is not relevant - however, just so you know, there's a lady at my meeting who has very similar story to you - one bottle a night -but had to have it, found it hard, impossible to cut down. Like you she didn't hit rock bottom in the sense of losing everything, but she wanted a release and AA helped her to stay off all alcohol for good. Good luck - let us know how you get on and what you decide!

Dave, Probably to echo what others have said.... People (in AA) told me that if I wasn't an alcoholic to go out and try some controlled drinking...I did that, didn't work out so well. People who are NOT alcoholic do not plan drunks; plan drinks; be careful in making sure they only have a certain amount. People who are not alcoholic do not fantasize (or think) about drinking. People who are not alcoholic generally, only drink a part of a drink to a few drinks. Not 4 beers - bottle of wine. I'm not calling or labeling you an alcoholic. I'm just sharing with you what I have learned. I thought it was normal to drink 1/5s - I justified that "a drink" was from the container it came in (I didn't believe in glasses!!). I drank straight from the bottle, so I only had 1 or 2 drinks, right!!!? My disease (alcoholism) still talks to me and tries to tell me that I don't have a problem. It was just a phase of my life. I could drink normally. After a barrage like that I just laugh and say, yea right!! I know better. Sometimes I wonder, but you know, life sober is just so much better. After all, how many non-alcoholics do you know that drank rubbing alcohol and mixed it with Coca-Cola and hot chocolate (actually putting it in the microwave to warm it up)?!? Yep, sounds like a normal drinker to me (talking about myself), NOT!!! Anyway Dave, you need to make that decision for yourself. If you choose to drink and things go well, my hat's off to you. Just remember, not everyone that goes out (tries drinking again) makes it back. There are many who die trying. Russian roulette?!? A lot of people take it for granted they are going to be able to get sober again. A lot of people think that if they pick up again, then they can come back to AA, NA, or whatever...not always true. Some don't live long enough to have that opportunity. Others are unable to get over their pride/shame. Many just get lost in the disease. I wish you luck in whatever you decide. Just remember, to thine own self be true. If you honestly think that you are not an alcoholic, go ahead. If you think there's a possibility that you might be an alcoholic, perhaps you need to prove it to yourself while throwing away 6 months. I don't know. Only you and your Higher Power will know. It's your call. All we can offer you are our opinions. Best of luck, Jen