Need advice confused

hi all, i dont know how to explain things right well,tried my level best here. when i was in my first yr of my college i got to know about a guy through mobile and we started speaking over phone,started liking each other,,,soon turned love.. i was so sincere in that and never felt that he is.so i was confused but still our relationship continued for some 6months then i told lets broke up(we didn meet too) after 3months i left it may be thinking as an infactuation,,but i was unable to forget about him.I liked and loved him like anything,but he didn in turn do the same that may be my interpretation since he was so busy in developing his career.But since everything happened over phone both couldnt get into sync with each other..but again we started speaking after 3months whenever he speaks to me i will get convinced that the mistake is from my side. or i dunno its a feeling from my side,wahtever i liekd him so i ll go with his point just becoz i dun want to lose him well it gradually continued for 2.5yrs like that. Atlast he accepted to meet me (we tried to meet many tiems but distance was a problem) tehn he came forwardedly saying i wanna meet u...i was happy and same time i dunno what prob again will start..well we met and again our relationship was good again.He is a kind of stubborn person but i know he loves me but somethign stops him to accept my point becoz of his character being stubborn and in turn i m also doing same.. after one yr of this i felt like he is no more caring me we hardly speak,,he will be always busy with his business.Since i was in college final yr i was confused with my friend's case so i use to fight with him and i will talk about future as waht will be the result for us in future either marriage or timepass like that...he use to say no its not timepass i am doing i dont know he will convince me always somehow...tats his advantage or is it i am feeling (still confusion) after 4 yrs i decide to broke up since i felt i m being fooled... i will ask for meeting he will say i am trying but busy blah blah...i thought he is trying to avoid me,,,but later it broke up since i moved to another city for my carreer. after my college i got one good friend..my friend was too good,he was so caring and in the mean gap i was confused with my ex-one,i started loving my friend becoz for his affection,caring things, But i always feel i cant love anyone like my EX.but still i committed love to my friend it also went well for 1yr till this aug 2009.Even after 1yr i felt my relationship is going too mechanical or jsut i want someone to take care of me i chose my friend even though he is true to me and good,, i felt still i cant love anyone like my ex..i didn speak to my ex for almost 1yr no contact at all i always wonder what happened btw us... But 2months back my ex contacted me somehow,,again a mess up,,,he convinced me saying what are all the things happened but this time i see many changes in him.He accepted my side also(which he ll never accept)i told lets be friends not anything else but he said what r u talking abt i love u still 5yrs its been,and we chose each other correctly i know i made mistake but now i understood how a gal will feel in whatever mistakes i did blah blah etc.again my mind started loving him back.after that he started speaking me to me so well and met me too and being with me so good. Even i felt i also did many mistakes...Now he said his career is growing well thats why it took time,he mentioned even now he cant spend much time becoz of his kind of work.I accepted that,I am so happy now i got my ex whom i still love and feel some extra ordinary feeling i have with him which i never try to get out with anyone... my problem is now with my friend,he is too sensitive and was so good to me, i didn tell him about this,,But before speaking to my ex i told him i think we r doign liek friends i dun feel anythign like that ..but he will always say we r lovers. but i m sayign he s really good guy but not expressive tats it,but i dun mean it went wrong,but i m happy with my ex becoz i love him still i have feelign for him,,please someone tell me what can i do in this i dunno which side i shuld go,here i explained almost all since i wanted u to understand how i feel... how can i make him to understand that i got my ex back whom my love is..i dunt want to hurt him i dunno how to deal or even i m confused with my ex will it go proper like that or whether he will change again someone tell me which side i shuld go atleast tell me waht crap i m doing whether wrong or right, i feel guilty in this situation to both people i m not able to sleep properly. Thanks in advance