Why did he leave me for her or why he did it in the first place

Hello, I was in a relationship with a really amazing guy who picked me up and moved me in with him because of my past issues of my parents. He and I were really happy and we even planned a pregnancy, he worked and I stayed home because he took care of me, and every now and then I helped too. Eventually under some circumstances we had to move in with his mom and we never had trouble. After being together for a year and a half he started action really different! He got mad at whatever I did, he tried leaving after every little thing I did and I could he acted completely different. . After wards I found out he lied about where he was going and he decided to go to Alabama for a girl he knew in high school who he said came back to town for a visit. I figured so because when he had someone under the name of scott saying he missed him and where the address to his house was and it was obvious he lied about it when I asked, I knew it was a girl. When I asked him where he went he kept lying and got angry and raged till when he sat in silence and said you wanna know the truth. . I have been cheating on you. I was shocked and asked why? He said in a mad tone that he didn't love me anymore, it was lust, he tried breaking up with me for any reason and it never worked. I then pointed to him and said if that's where the hickie came from and he said yes we made out and they've been hanging out, that's why he never came home and was always out late instead of being with me and his daughter. I know he probally had sex with her, he said they've been talking for 4 weeks but I doubt it because this outraged behavior started in November and lasted till this month in February and it all happened 3 days ago. . . I wanna know why?? He kept being with me, said he never wanted me to leave, kept hanging on saying we were soulmates and he loved me to death, kissed me, and even said he loved me before I told him I found out. . I know this wasn't lust. I hate him for doing this. But why? Will he regret his choice? Why did he choose to do this when he knew he had a kid and girlfriend? His lover knew and didn't care? Why did he keep me for so long then out of nowhere decided to open up? Was he just not ready? How can I possibly think of this anymore because now I cry that he did this to me and my daughter. . . I hope he does regret it. Everyone says it won't last but I don't care I feel more deceived and disgusted. . . .

JSG, I can see and understand the pain and confusion you’re going through. You want to know why? Well I can only add up the variables I see within this post you would have to really drive him for his answer. Will he regret it? Yes, there is always multiple points in someone’s life where they reflect on their past actions. Anyone can recall to a moment where they were thinking back key moments in their lives. It sounds like you gave him a very good home life and I don’t know any higher flattery than a woman who wants to give a man she loves a child. So yea he’ll feel it later. Why did he choose to do this when he knew he had a kid and girlfriend? Again that is something you would have to ask, however I would ask you what matters more is to ask yourself how you can move on? His lover knew and didn’t care? I’m afraid there simply are folks in this world that are very selfish in their behavior and you have become the victim of two such individuals. You said how can you possibly think of this anymore? Well I would recommend you don’t because I think you and I both know that you’re going to be much better off recovering from this by working to overcome these dark feelings and thoughts that are being whispered to you. Whether it lasts or not, I wouldn’t take him back for sure that’s me personally. If you’re the kind of individual who is willing to forgive this kind of betrayal then I would at least recommend you really wait until your 100% sure that he has proven himself again.

Agree with Keekay. But, FYI, he did *not* try to leave or make you leave. He was simply, underhandedly, doing what a lot of men who intend to cheat on their wives do: trying to find out exactly how far you could be pushed, what amount of crap you'd take without it making you decide to leave him/end the marriage, in an endeavour to find out if he'd likely get away with taking a permanent mistress on the side come the day you possibly found out. He 'got angry and enraged' because he suddenly realised he'd misconcluded on that score about you being liable to turn a blind eye. The ensuing insults to you and the integrity of your marriage were geared towards engaging your ego by making it want to stick around to prove the seeming emotional disconnection and rejection on his part false (i.e. reverse the wounding insult(s)). You were very needful to point of over-needy when he 'rescued' you so would have been too taken up with your own recovery/grieving process to notice (i.e. felt forced to ignore) all the tiny little red flags or the tip of what belonged to a bigger iceberg as showed itself in myriad formats only very subtly around that time. Now this iceberg has emerged more from the water. And it's a whopper bit enough to sink HMS Marriage. Clearly he was not an amazing guy. Sorry.