Broken

I met this guy online, At first I never took him seriously and then I began to pay attention to him more and more and just started to fall in love him. The way I felt about him was so different to any other guy. I saw a future with him. When I didn't really like him, I think he liked me but now I think about it he probably never did. Just told me lies to have sex with me. At beginning I was bothered about what my friends would think so every time he brought up 'linking' I would change the conversations. But then I started to fall for him. We was never in a relationship but we may as well have been. He would say I'm his girl but clearly that was all lies. When he got angry I would see a different side of him, he was so horrible but I still had love for him and still do I just don't understand why. He made me feel so low to the point I felt so worthless, cried my eyes out, smoked a lot of weed and didn't leave my house for a couple months but I still couldn't hate or not like him. We always stop talking and then talk again but I just can't continue with this cycle because it's not healthy and I can't take feeling like this anymore. I just want to forget him but I can't. I can't pay attention to other boys because they're not him.i feel like a delusional fool. I feel like he lead me on, told me lies touts constantly sleep with me but I still want him, I don't understand. Deep down I know it'll never work and he just talks to me when he wants sex but I don't know. Am I a side chick

I'm so angry at myself for believing his lies and allowing myself to give him my body again

Your brain has the thinking part and the feeling part and you need both to have a good relationship. If you love someone you try and try to make them be something good - you can't help who you love. But you also can't make someone into a person who is nicer, or smarter or better than they are. Somethings you just have to stay away from and let your brain take over. That is what you have to do.

Hi, I'm guessing you're both pretty young? He doesn't sound like a very nice person and since there are millions of other males on this planet, there are sure to be quite a few decent ones out there, so my advice is this; move on and forget this loser, learn to love yourself so that you want better for yourself than to be treated like crap buy some crap guy! Set your standards high and enjoy your life, you only get one!