Marijuana

My fiance was a strong marijuana addict when he was a teenager. He ended up in hospital due to heart attack and also he was under more risk because his dad´s side of the family suffer from heart problems. He has told me that he quitted many years ago, but I dont believe it. Perhaps he quitted this and now does something else. His sleeping times are very crazy, he gets paranoia every now and then, very loud and dramatic when arguing, cravings and yellow teeth even when he never smokes anything (not even normal cigarretes) in front of me. I´m deeply in love and want to marry this guy, but I do want to find out what is he into. Please if anyone knows how can I discover whether he uses any drugs or not, I´d appreciate any insight. Thanks a lot for your time!

Hi Preciosa, It sounds like you and your fiancé have had a tough time dealing with this addiction problem over the last few years. According to a website about drug use, the following symptoms are a tell-tale signs of marijuana users: Dizziness, or trouble walking, seeming silly and giggly for no reason, have very red (bloodshot eyes), and also have a hard time remembering things that just happened. It also appears that once the early effects of the drug fade, over the next few hours, the user can become very tired. You are right to be concerned about marrying a drug addict, if you can't trust this guy, then this is a big risk that could compromise your relationship. Maybe you will have to confront him directly or do some digging around to find out if something is going on around your back. If you think about the financial side of things, this stuff isn't free, so perhaps there is something you could monitor financially? Anyway, hope this helps, and good luck..

Thanks James for your opinions. I have confronted him twice and he has told me he quitted it and thats it. He hates confrontation and I believe he is in love as well fearing he could lose me if he tells. Like you say, this is a matter of trust and my relationship is in lack of it at this very respect really...so things get more complicated. Thanks again!

Upto a few months ago I was a strong cannabis smoker who smoked upto about 2 ounces a month of weed (£250Aprox ). my short term memory was and is still very bad. I had no motivation. Struggled to go to bed at a normal normal time, anything earlier than 2am was early and getting up before midday was early. I would rather spend the evening alone smoking than go out with mates or with my mates or GF. It can be beaten though, I have done it! I dont smoke it at all now, still get the desire some times but make do with a cig and I have my old life back. Hope this helps!!

Hi, After reading Andy's e-mail & others on the subject of smoking weed I felt it was necessary to redress the balance a bit. I have been a cannabis smoker for half of my life & myself & my partner consumed up to £600 worth every month whereas I admit that there are many perhaps better things to spend money on & in addition to this no-one is denying there are negative effects to smoking cannabis but many people smoke it daily with very little ill effect in fact my partner & myself both achieved good degrees including a masters while smoking & continue to be high earning professionals. I stopped smoking cigarettes completely and am surprised at Andy's admission that he smokes occasional cigarettes, like this substitute is better or less harmful in some way. I myself am a psychology graduate and worked for many years in the field of mental health often with drug users in psychiatric hospitals. I suggest the instead of demonising marijuana use we understand & respect both beneficial & harmful effects of this & every other 'drug' (including those so commonly used we dismiss there effects due to their 'socially accepted' status in society- alcohol & caffeine for example. There are fewer therapeutic benefits to drinking alcohol). Anyone who suffers from an addictive personality or lacks will power to use such substances in a sensible way (when it's use is having an effect on your life) could have the same problem with any number of substances & should recognise & avoid or limit their use. Finally it has to be said the connection hinted at by Preciosa between marijuana use & her fiance's heart attack is very misleading. Sounds like you need to address intimacy & trust issues as much as anything else. Hope this enlightens you a little.