Am I depressed because I’m an alcoholic or an alcoholic because I’m depressed

I have had insomnia since I was 8 years old. I discovered the bliss of alcohol when I was 12. It allowed me to get to sleep thru the night. Then I discovered it allowed my voice to be heard. I was cripplingly shy until I drank. The person I was in my mind came out & was applauded by the people I admired. Unfortunately, this lasted until I became what everyone pushed me to be & I lost the voice I had. I was the It Girl until I went overboard & that’s when I discovered I was pushed, not celebrated.