Living in a bad relation, now met someone else, what do I do?

I have been living with this man for almost 10 years, the last few years we have had separate bedrooms, and no sex life. To be honest, I do not mind that since I can't stand the thought of sleeping with him. I know I should leave, but every time I bring the subject up, he is denying any problems, and bury his head in the sand. I also think he could be slightly mentally unstable if I split up from him, and sometimes I think of other peoples feelings more than my own. I realize I can not live with someone just because I feel sorry for them, but I find it hard to move on. I am in my mid thirties, and can't really see myself living like this for the rest of my life. Another problem is that I can't really get the support I might need from my family, they live in a different country. Now to complicate things even more, I met another man almost 4 months ago, who I am madly in love with, and I think it is mutual. He knows about my situation, and sort of accepts it, but he is not really in a position to tell me what to do. He is in his mid forties, divorced with 2 children. I would like to spend more time with him, and I know I need to sort my life out first, but it is difficult. Anyone who has any advice, or have been in a similar situation?

iam 33 i have 2 children which are older now ,i met my husband whe i was 16 and he was 17,we have been together ever since,in 2008 my dad died unexspected of lung cancer and my world fell apart,since then ive changed sum for good sum not so good ,in nov 2009 i got chatting to sum one and he turned out to be a nice so we meet a few times so i had to lie to my family about were i was going and who with,we text a lot every day ,and speek o the phone,my husband found out that its been going on for 7 months now and went mad,were still togehter but iam still in contact with my friend and we are planning on meeting up soon,ive thought long and hard a bout my life i want to be with my friend we love each other i think of my husband as a mate now i carnt bear it when he wants sex as its not the same and i think about how me and my friend have sex,sum people no wot ive done but i want out now and to be with my friend .

Hi there, I think I know where you are coming from. My 1st love recently contacted me after 20+ yrs. To cut a long story short, We met and the evening couldnt have been beeter if it had been scripted!. Unofrtunately she is married but I dont think that she is happy in her realtionship..judging by her actions and what she said on the nite. The advice that I will give you is the same as the advice that I will give Sally (my 1st Love). Perhaps you can go to "relate" type of councillor. If that doesnt work, why dont you tell him how unhappy you are and insist that you both seek professional help...otherwise you will leave him I would suggest

opps sorry I didnt finish!!. I suggest that you give him a time period...or you will never move on.. and before you know it, you will be really miserable. The sooner that you do this the better. Good Luck I hope that this helps

Hi, I want to say thank you for the responses. It was extremely difficult for the days following the falling out and ultimatium. However we have worked through it and are still together. We have rented my previous place for 6 months as he insisted that he wasnt happy that I would have nowhere to go if we ended up in a similar situation, to which he would end it once and for all. I hope and know he hope that we will never need to come to using it, but it is there. Each day is a challenge, but we are planning in small steps now. Again thank you all so much.

And I've posted this to the wrong discussion! Ooops, apologies all.

If you want your situation changed, change it. Leave, whether or not the guy acknowledges you. How he deals with it is up to him. Your actions will speak for you. Think about another relationship after you have sorted out your life and any problems within it.