Nothing left......

I am 61 years old and I live in a truck for the past ten years. I have NOTHING at all. No family, no friends, no job. I feel this world is mean. I feel like I've wasted so much of my life. I don't want to be here. I am not crazy. I am of sound mind. I am "m. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm m.

hello do you have any children? did you have a wife??

Hi Troubledhuman, I really understand what you are saying and I know that you are not alone in feeling this way. I have family and still feel that way at many times. Everyone seems to be feeling this societal void that are placed upon us but it is not a one size fits all situation. I can offer you an ear if needed and hopefully, it will get you through some of those "empty" times.

(Ha-ha, no, LUVALWAYZ, TroubledHuman was the first respondent, the problem-holder is KUKI. But I'm sure TroubledHuman is pleased to hear he's not alone in his inquisitiveness. ;-D)

I am the wife. I am also the mother. Yes I have children. 1. I've always tried to be a good person. Do the right thing. It just doesn't seem to matter. I am just out of answers. Thanks for caring.

Thank you Soulmate....much appreciated :-) Must have be really eager to help.

(Just bumping you up, KUKI, in case people might have missed the fact you came back with a response.)

Hmm. Okay... KUKI, please provide more background details regarding where your kids are now and all the events that led to you being in this current situation.

My child is far away in another state.She never got along with my current husband . Her father has abandoned her. She wants nothing to do with me and that I can accept. I am married to a truck driver and have traveled everywhere except Alaska. We literally lived in the truck for 10 years. It has not been easy or fun. I never got to make any friends, I've had no emotional support from anyone. My parents are dead, and my loving family think they are SO much better than me. As far as they're concerned I am dead to them. So be it. People I meet everyday are rude, no one is friendly, they can't be bothered with anyone but themselves. My mother always said you made your bed, so you'll have to lie in it. So I have done that, and continue to but I pray to God everyday that he will just take me now. My life has been so wasted, nothing to show for it. 61 years. So what's the great advice you have for me?

Well, I guess I have my answer by all the silence out there. But thanks anyway.

Yes he knows how unhappy I am and he said I can leave anytime I want, but where do I go? I have nothing. I have no one. Don't you get it? He is 48, not close to retirement by a long shot. He put us in this situation. I will probably never have a home again. Plan for what? I need a lot more than luck thanks.

I'm in the same boat as you and have someone typing this out for me as I read this to her. She said she wants to be your friend

I'll give you advice - long-reach existential advice (based on geneological findings): If you have chosen this path as means you wouldn't get to settle down and become sorted until round about NOW then your particular genes are proving VIA this fact that they always intended its vehicle (you) to live to a very ripe old age, riper than the average, MEANING, you are not 61, it's just a technicality. In simpler terms, we don't waste time we deep-down sense we do not have to waste in the first place. In REAL terms, then, you are probably only 41. So that's that bit, you can relax on that score. Two, what the hell does your so-called husband MEAN by saying *you* can leave any time you want if you don't like things as they've always been? Isn't that like saying, 'It's my way or big fat zero/no me'? Who does he think he is - Kim Jong Un? Why are you basically playing mere accessory to this man? Have you spoiled him into thinking that everything is on his terms and only his and all he has to do to get you 'back in your box' any time you try to assert your own needs is threaten the entire relationship? Er... has the idiot never heard of how marriage requires non-stop deals and compromises? A man who loves a woman should want - repeat WANT - to make sure she's as happy as she can be. Healthy men take great pride in this, same as (in bed) why they gain more satisfaction from her climax than their own. He, therefore, is failing in his manly duty...BIG time, considering you're worse than just not happy! What, supposedly, would HE do if you indeed did up and leave? Carry on as usual, not even bat an eyelid?

I'm no saint in this situation. I think he "loves" me in his own strange way. I left him once and he couldn't cope so he involved my family and that's why I don't have one anymore. He involved total strangers who sent me emails begging me to go back, that things would be different, better. So stupid me did just that. It really doesn't matter anymore. There is nowhere to go and no one to go to. Tomorrow we will probably be homeless. I've been thru that once already and that was enough. It just saddens me that I wasted so much of my life.

Yup, agree. *And*, KUKI, if you *really* thought you were with the man (and living situation he's coerced you into) that you only deserved, you wouldn't have come on here complaining about it in the first place (think about it). 'So he loves me. But WHAT loves me?'. Answer, a man who thinks he has carte blanche to get his way over utterly everything, INCLUDING what type of lifestyle you live, simply because the last time you attempted to leave him he saw it that you were too easily pressured and manipulated back, so why worry, why NOT posture at her using the BS that you can take her or leave her whilst it's she who can't make it without you? I mean - hello? Have you not looked at the evidence here? You left him once before and it was HIM who went totally doolally! I don't care if he reckons the sky is green with purple stripes - THE FACT REMAINS, IT IS BLUE! Case closed! Time for you to make him watch you walk away and STAY walked away unless and until he has to offer you something better, something CONCRETE (literally) eh! And this time making like Eliza Doolittle: "Don't tell me - SHOW me!".

Let me ask all of you this. If you had no one, I mean no one, no money, and nowhere to go , could you do it? Could you just up and walk away? Not knowing if you would be alive tomorrow? I thank you you all for your advice but it's really easy to give it when you aren't the one in the situation. I am a Christian and I do believe God is with me, but it is still terrifying .

You don't know whether you will be alive tomorrow? Take that on board and do what you really want to do, if you genuinely thought you may die tomorrow, would you sit around moping and feeling bad or would you try and do something you never had the courage to do, as you have no consequences now?.. Imagined (or maybe real) consequences are stopping you, but you can;t tell the future, no one can.. you can imagine good or bad outcomes, because of your situation you are only imagining bad, try imagine the good and aim for that. If you truly are in a hell hole of a situation, then what can be worse? Ask yourself what can be worse and then have a think as to how likely it really is, logically speaking, not emotionally speaking. If you walked off to a shelter and stayed there, got some work to save some money (this can happen, it's hardly hoping for a lotto win) you would maybe see a life that's not so bad, you may have a goal, an aim.. right now you have no aims other than following your husbands lead. Which obviously you aren;t happy about. My point is ask yourself WHO you want to be, it's certainly not who you are, then make plans for that, if he is so concerned about having you that he got strangers to email you and involved your family, I doubt he will just let you walk off. Imo he knows you won't and keeping you on the road keeps you reliant on him. Maybe I am wrong in assuming that, but only you can know.