What was I thinking

okay so a few weeks ago I lost my virginity. It wasn't to my boyfriend because I don't have one, but I was very disappointed with myself for doing that. But anyways after that things changed like I started talking to guys easier and I had way more guy friend. So this morning my mom woke me up and told me to give her my phone I was so nervous because im not allowed to talk to boys and date. But I gave it to her anyways and she saw one text from a friend asking did I want to go hang with him that day. Yes I said yes. so I was in trouble there and she was getting pissed at me. She was telling me that if I had sex before that she was going to find out so I went a head and told her I wasn't virgin. She kicked me out of her room saying she doesnt allow sluts in her room. She was so mad she said she was done with me and she didn't care what I did. She also is never letting go out again with friends and im not allowed to ask her to do anything. Like I just feel like such a horrible person I fucked up and its literally all on me. I couldn't not be such a whore and keep my legs closed for one minute and I lost everything that I cared about. She doesnt trust me, she told me not to talk to her for a week, she even said she wasnt paying for college and If I don't get enough scholarships hn its on me. I just feel so disgusted with myself its eating me up. She cant even look at me now and im afraid im going to get kicked out the house next But im not just upset about our relationship, Im scared for when she tells the other people in my family that I look up to. They'll never be able to loo at me the same. Im such a disappointment.

How old are you? The next thing you don't want to get is pregnant. Don't get so scared of you mom that you don't get birth control pills, and end up getting pregnant. Ask some of your friends how do you get birth control pills. Go to a birth control clinic and ask them, how do you get birth control pills? Take the pills. My grandson got his 16 year old girlfriend pregnant. Why wasn't she taking birth control pills? Why wasn't my 21-year-old grandson looking out for her and saying, "Go get, or take, the birth control pills?" What ever you do, don't get pregnant. Argue with your mother all you want, but get the birth control pills. It's going to be your baby and un-educated, un-married you that are going to suffer it you get pregnant. So, screw your brains out, but get the birth control pills first. Pills first, spread later. Don't forget the order of that.