Help

I am in desperate need of help with my marriage. I need advice and someone who is willing to listen or read I guess I've been with my husband for 12 years married for 4. We have gone through so much. I've always caught my husband talking and texting with other women. I haven't trusted my husband in years and honestly can't even remember when I had any trust in him. 2 years ago he cheated on me during my pregnancy, we talked, I left and we got back together but I guess I still had resentment because I wasn't fulfilling him emotionally and I had been disrespectful to my husband many times. I even found out they stayed in contact after. It tore me up. I wasn't able to be good for him. Then recently I found out again he had another affair. He claims no sex but he told this girl he loved her. He says he was going through something emotionally at the time. I was pregnant again during this time. He moved out but now he's back home and we just cannot get this right. He had built this wall up and I'm constantly questioning and accusing him even though he says its over with him. He told me he had been so unhappy with me for a very long time but couldn't be honest with me because he worried about my reaction. I dont know how to fix this, dont know if its possible or worth it. Please anyone with some insight, I can use some advice.

Hi. I've been where you are, it's acutely painful not to mention humiliating, but none of it is your fault. Your hubbie is obviously a womaniser and simply cannot help himself. It took me years to get away from my ex and many more to really get over the humiliation and insecurity. Some women/men just cannot help themselves, my advice to you is get out. The first time I forgave and like you tried to forget, but 3 pregnancies and 12 years later he was still cheating & blaming me, I didn't understand him, he said. Now all these years later he admits it was entirely his fault. Sounds like you have the same/similar problem, believe me it isn't worth putting yourself through it, find someone worthy of you, who really loves you, the way you deserve to be loved, I did, and truly I have been really happy now for 25 years. Wishing you All the very best.

SANDY thank you for your response. How did you get the courage to leave? He pulls me back in by telling me he just needs me to be a certain kind of way. I cry every day, I'm so broken and unhappy. I'm also suffering from post partum depression I believe. How did u leave him? Gain the control to not text or call or worry about him being with someone else?

oh I am so broken for you. Sweetie I am in a situation just the same. I am to the point of checking myself into a therapy home. I have been mistreated to the point of wanting to die. Life has lost its meaning I am sad to the core and I hate myself for allowing such abuse. I am actually reaching out to u because my hope is that by sharing or listening to you and giving my take I will somehow not feel so alone. You are in an abusive relationship. Your soul and will to live to your greatest happiness and potential are being robbed by another. the person killing your dreams is the same man who claims to love you. PLEASE LISTEN TO ME - your legal husband (not a husband in Gods eyes)is murdering you, slowly and painfully. It will not be long before you begin to simply exist. you must find your inner BITCH pack your things walk away walk away walk far away from his abuse. Honey his "need" for you was the last thing on his mnd when he was sneaking behind your back. He doesn't love you he just knows you will be around to take whatever he gives. blow his mind and take your worth your kids and a few of his dollars and LEAVE!!!

Well he tells me he needs more from me. I've tried to give that to him. We have 5 children. I work, I take classes online, I take care of our home. I do my very best to be a good wife to him. Last night he told me he wants to be with me but he thinks there has been so much damage and he thinks its best to leave bit he can't because I cannot pay the bills alone. He still wants to be intimate with me. Ur says he's sorry for everything he's done. I'm not convinced he stopped the relationship he was involved in. I found notes they shared, he told her he loved her. My heart is broken. I'm not ME. I don't even know who ME is. I want OUT!! I'm so angry and hurt and everything negative. I have an opportunity at this new job tomorrow of I get hired and it will be a blessing for myself and my children. I need this so bad and have been praying on it. I sometimes think I'm going crazy like mentally losing it. I'm so scared of me and who I've become. I'm so weak. My baby is 4 months old. I feel so terrible. The thought of them two together kills me. I know she works with him but he won't admit it to me. He says its over but I dont believe it and he says I should be happy he's moved back home. He keeps his phone locked, silent and flipped over. That girl is so pretty

you have become his door matt:( and it breaks my heart knowing that. I am so very sorry for what you are going through honey. I wish to God I had a magical cure for you. remember what goes around comes around and this man is going to get it back so bad and he will someday know the pain he has caused you.