I need help

hii.. to be honest i wasnt sure if i should do this..n its making me feel like a weak person..but yeah..it might help..anywayz.. so i've been having this problem for a long time and i just came to notice it.. and after i noticed it..its been stressing me out..i cant express negative emotions..its just impossible for me to do so no matter how hard i try.. and by that i dont me that im unable to cry or so on..i mean to other people i used to just myself and refuse to cry when facing problems before..but i came to stop..now i cry in private..like almost all day.. the people close to me didnt notice the change in behaviour and dont question thechange in my mood..i have a boyfriend to..and lately theres been alot of things thats been painful..but im unable to do anything..i cantlet him know..i dont know how is he and everyone else unable to notice..im complicated..my way of thinking is a little hard to understand..but its like if i dont say it..they wont guess even tht something is wrong..and since they dont im unable to say anything..even if they did notice..i would lie..for several reasons..and they would buy it right away..some ofthose reasons are:- -i feel like they'll be unable to understand and that they'll say something like"im sorry"..or give me a pitty look..sepcially tht they consider me mature..so my way of thinking is a bit different than theirs.. -secondly..its like they all have their own problems already why bother them with mine..specially that they're better speakers..but im a better listener so i listen to them..but dont expect them too -and yeah like i said perviously..they're better speakers..im scared they'll cut me halfway and i wont be able to express my thought.. ..Besides all that..if i tell my bf that he's been giving me a hard time..he'll feel bad..he's the kind of person who needs to relly on some1..if he knew such things..he'll not beable to be open with me.. besides lets say i decided that yeah i have to talk and all.. how do i start such a thing..go and say"baby im hurt"?..thats pathetic.. and lets say i got past thinking its pathetic..im afriad to loose myself.. i pretty much like my way of thinking..except for the fact tht it can be really tiring..i really need help sorry for writing down too much stuff but yeah..i really need help..

You are not a weak person to want to communicate with someone about your problems. It is not easy for many people to say when they need help. People deal with their emotions differently. I think it is okay to cry every now and then, but why do you feel the need to cry almost all day? Is there anything good in your life you can be thankful for? Is there something about yourself or your experiences that can help you get through this? ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND/ LOVED ONES: If there is no way to solve your problem on your own and/or you feel it is overwhelming, then you need to talk to someone. Here is the bottom line: You will never know how someone will actually react until you talk to him/her. If you need to talk about your problems, do so. Worrying about how others will see you only adds more bad stress to the situation. This is not to say that you have to shout it to everyone you see. Find someone you can trust or at least someone you like to be around. Feel free to communicate with as many people as necessary in order to solve your problems. In regards to your boyfriend, tell him what you can. Tell him something. Your issues with him will probably affect your relationship with him in the long-run if you don’t talk to him about it. If you want a strong relationship, talk about both what you like about it and what you don’t like. Ask him if there is something about you that he would like discuss. Let’s face it, you won’t like everything about your partner and he won’t like everything about you. Think about what you can do to make the relationship better. COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES: Since communicating your problems is hard to do, maybe you should start out in general terms (“I heard there was someone who…. What do you think she should do?” or “Do you know anyone who…”). As you get comfortable talking to your boyfriend and/or the ones you feel close to, you will gradually talk about the specific problems you have. Writing and journaling may help you deal with your feelings on a personal level. If all else fails, you can write as many posts here as you need, you can contact a hotline for your problems, or you can seek professional help/counseling. OTHER COMMENTS: Your behavior is not pathetic or weak. You will still be you, no matter what you do. Whether you are a speaker, listener, or anything else, be proud about it. It’s you! Now, if you want to change, change. Just make sure you are doing it for yourself, for the better. Write as much as you need to! TILES

i do smile..even while im crying i do try to look at the bright side..its just that i held tears back for a whole year... you see my boyfriends and i parted for a year..as in broke up..but now we got back together..thing is its of no use and it is rtoo late to tell him how painful it was..we've been together for almost four months now.. i did try talking to people before..but they were unable to understand anything back when the problem was simple.. now that it got all complicated..theres noway..and my boyfriend..he'lljust tell me im thinking in a negative way and giv me a face..i know him..i alwayz tell him that..but his worries are simple..i am a hopeful person..thats why im not simply giving up im still searching for the solution..and i really dont want to change..i did change in a specific amount a while ago and sadly wasnt for me.. i learned my lesson related to change..

Is there any way you can tell me about the problem? If you can't, that is okay. What was it that broke you and your boyfriend up before? Was it related in anyway to your problem? You don't have to change if you don't want to. I'm glad you are trying to be positive, given your situation. You are trying to deal with your problem the best way you know how. Sometimes only you have the power to solve your problems, but just know that you are not alone. I'll lend an ear if you need it. TILES

well this will make things a little more complicated..but you see the reason we broke up before was well a little complicated..its like afew months before we got back together..we became sort of close..like friends..and he had a crush that he was crazy over..and i used to offer him support..listen to all he has to say andgive advice,,then some circumstances occured..and that girl dissappered..a week after that..he asked me to get back with him..it was more liek we got back together..i more of didn't hav an opinion but i was greatful because my feelings for him were still there..but there were way to many times that i thought..so i couldn't help but think if she didn't disappear then maybe they would've ended up together..maybe he just chose me cause i was easier to be with..i mean i saw his feelings for her..they were real they defintly were something..how could they die in a week?..but i somehow convinced myself to get over this problem..iin the past few days i realised another thing that caused this whole mess..its like..u might think im just jealous but..its like what he says is stuff that are more of inaproriate..its like he imagines things with people i know then he tells me about it..im not his guyfriend..im hisgirlfriend..i hav feelings..its messed up..it makes me more of unable to open up to him..unable to say tht it all hurts..our relationship has become distant and cold..you might just ask me to end it but..theres more to it than all this trouble..i dont want to easily give up on anything..im still young and all this is just overbearing..by the time tht im an adult ill need some mental hospital ._. ..btw thanks for your assistance so far i really apreciate it..

Your boyfriend got back together with you because if he couldn’t have what he wanted, then he would settle for you. So, if someone else comes along that he has feelings for or if that girl ever comes back, you may be on the chopping block again. The relationship shouldn’t be that way. From what I’ve read, you don’t seem like the jealous type. You just want him to respect the relationship more. But if you don’t say anything, then he will probably continue to say/do things that you find inappropriate. If you want to save your relationship, you need to get these feelings off your chest somehow. He is making his feelings pretty obvious. QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK YOURSELF: Do you like the way things are? If not, what don’t you like? Do the problems outweigh the relationship? Can you honestly accept those problems and move on from them or do the problems seem uncontrollable? Does your relationship have substance? Does your boyfriend even want to know about how you feel? Do you think that you can do more to improve the relationship or do you think the relationship has run its course? If there is nothing more you can do for this relationship and his feelings for you do not change for the better, then breaking up would be something to consider. You are not giving up easily if you decide to break up. TIPS: A quitter is a person who gives up at the drop of a hat or at the first sign of trouble. This is not you. You are doing everything you can to make the relationship work. The trouble in your relationship did not show up just yesterday. It has been there. Strong relationships can overcome those problems or find a way around them. Other relationships can’t. When a relationship cannot overcome a problem, you either accept that the problem will always be there, improve the relationship to overcome the problem, or break off the relationship. I know this isn’t easy for you, and you know that I would say to break it off, but this isn’t my decision. But if you ever feel like you will literally end up in a mental hospital, then something needs to change. It doesn’t matter how old you are. Too much negative stress will affect your stability. Trust your feelings. You must find ways to solve your problems. TILES