I snooped

I snooped. I know it was a terrible mistake to invade his privacy. Am ashamed of doing that and I swore that I would never do that again. He logged off and left the house but since other programs were open, the computer did not log off properly. I un-logged and got into his hotmail account. He had sent an email to this lady, a close friend of his saying that he has no option but to marry me since I moved into his house and we've been living together. From then on, I knew that he was just being forced to marry me not because he loves me but because "am just there'. I have never told him about it (how would I begin to say that I read his emails??) but been thinking about it lots. I have been watching his actions and realized that there really isn't any love, I am the one who tries to "make things work" mostly. We met 3 years ago, and I moved into his house almost immediately (big mistake, now I know)!. I have my own room in that house and I pay him rent. Early this month, I decided to leave, I gave him a 1month notice of moving out (as per lease agreement). I expected him to be happy that he will be "free of me" but his reaction really shocked me! He has been begging me to stay ever since, he admits to having taken our relationship for granted (blaming his busy work schedule) and promises to change. He looks very stressed out and infact he has taken a few days off from work to try and "patch things between us". For me, I have decided to leave, I found another place to rent and paid deposit and first month's rent already, booked furniture to be delivered very soon and I just can't turn back now, it is too late. I have explained it to him and he says he can help me cancel all these things. I still can't talk about that e-mail and my love for him has greatly reduced after reading that e-mail. I know what I want to do, move out (have to) and move on (he would be devastated if I did - so he says). However, what would be your advice. Thanks in advance.

It sounds like he is honestly confused. I think the space between the two of you is a good thing; though, you don't have to remove him from your life if you don't want to. Maybe he really does love you; I say give him another shot; people make mistakes. I'm not saying move back in with him, but maybe you could set up a date or two every month and see if there is a connection after a while. Then if things work out, you can move on from there. If not, at least you tried. Don't forget to also date other people; someone might be better suited for you. Of course, if you really don't want to try to be together (at all), then move on and forget him. Personally, I found it hard to leave the people I cared for when I had to move from one state to another. If you don't want to be with him, but you still want his friendship, then try to maintain that. That's what I would try to do. Whatever you end up deciding, good luck.

Hi HANS, thanks for your reply!