I think I 'hate' my closest 'friend'

I don’t know what’s going on but all of a sudden I snapped, I got little tolerance with my closest friend, I think he’s a complete retard. Some possibly important information: Things about my ‘friend’ Age:18 Single Never had a GF Part time Employed His parents are divorced for 5 years now His speech is like a weird husky monotone (due to internal jaw problem) ‘verbally Bullied’ throughout his life until the end of high school About me: Age:19 Single Never had a GF Unemployed Not the most social person around Background: I have been his ‘friend’ for over 4 years now. Everything we talked about was him, and when we didn’t it was small talk like “how was your day” nothing more and he would ALWAYS rant on with the same kind of response like “I see”, or “ok” everything else we talked about was his other friend who he always repeated the same thing. For the past 2 years I’ve been telling him to stop repeating what he says and such. He still does and it and IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH. So this year we went to college and he influenced me to do the same course as him, convincing me that it’ll be good. He failed in the first 2 weeks only managing to get 2% on his Maths (typical), so he was dropped and went to a different campus to do an easy ‘Senior High school standard ’ IT course. He rants on about his course and making out that basic HTML is complicated. When I’m stuck doing this course which he never followed through with; learning about network systems (CCNA/CCNP) and doing damn Java and C# programming. The guy is so lazy and he puts playing games at his top priority doing literally 45-60hrs a week of it, I tell him to ease up and he says he can’t because it relaxes him. He tells me he does about 2 hrs of study for the week, and he can’t find the motivation to study and that it’s currently getting him passing grades. It pisses me off so much that he’s relaxing all the time and barely putting any input to his work and I’m working my brain like crazy with my course, putting it as my number 1 priority and quitting all the gaming and movie entertainment to a complete stop and still only managing 5-6 hrs of sleep on a good day. Whenever I try help give advice and suggest things he doesn’t listen and it ends up in his face and says “ok ok your right I’m sorry ill listen next time” the 2nd time happens he still ignores my advice and it comes right back. I’ve always been there for him, I’m always having to playing Dr Phil whenever he failed a test, he always cried to me about how the teacher was ‘useless’ and not providing the right information (this was a very common occurrence). I think I’m always fair with him, always listening to him, Understanding that his parents’ divorce was hard. But where do I draw the line? I feel like bringing him into the boxing ring with me and we have a box out... I feel like grabbing him and shaking him and saying “harden the F**k up” And yes I’ve told him everything I’ve mentioned and his response is “I just want to succeed in life...” I think what made me snapped is that he thinks he can become a success with doing little work as possible. I haven’t told him: *I feel he is an ultimate burden in my life *That I’ve really lost the tolerance to continue with acting the way I use to with him. *I don’t really care about him as much

People are different. Some are very stubborn, no matter what you say. Plus, your friend is currently getting passing grades for what little he does, so he doesn’t see the need to change. What he does only encourages his current behavior. Change starts from within, so no matter what you say, he will do what he wants to do, right or wrong. Now, you can give him advice, but he decides how he wants to live his life. If your friend really wanted to change or if he really wanted to be a success, then he would make it happen. It really depends on his definition of success because from what I read, it seems like what he is doing is fine for him. It looks like you are suffering from this friendship, if it can be called one. For the most part, friendships should help you, not hurt you. If all you both talk about is him, trivial matters, and other stuff that is frequently repeated, then the friendship is lacking. Ultimately, you need to do what is best for you. You shouldn’t have to suffer because of the friendship. It wasn’t good of your friend to recommend the course to you since you are now stuck with it alone, but dropping out was the best thing for him in his opinion. He is mainly thinking about himself, so I recommend that you take some time to think about what you need. Questions you need to ask yourself: 1. What is best for you? Since you don’t like the class, are you able to drop it? (If not, that makes what your friend did even more terrible. But if he suggests something like that again, analyze what you are getting yourself into and make the best decision according to facts and other opinions, if possible.) Where do you see this friendship going? Do you feel like it is a friendship, where you contribute and where you are heard? If you think your friendship is lacking, do you feel like you should fight for it? Would you be better off without it? Does it do more bad than good? Do you think you need a break from being around your friend (sometimes a break from a friend may be best in the long run). Is there someway you can just accept the fact that he is who he is (because it is very likely that he won’t change) and make the friendship more tolerable somehow? Suggestions/Options: 1. Tell your friend that you don’t want to talk with him anymore. See what he says and go from there. If he decides to ignore what you say or how you feel, then break off the friendship. 2.Tell your friend that if he wants to continue talking with you, then he’ll have to make some concessions. He can’t change who he is (unless he wants to), but maybe he can be more considerate of you. If you see he is unable to do this (and from what you have said, it looks like he has problems with this), then you either break off the friendship or only talk to him in certain instances. 3. Share more about yourself and your life to make the friendship more relevant to you. For example, ask your friend what he thinks about something in your life. If what you talk about mostly revolves around him, then talk about more things that are important to you. It may be helpful to talk about things that he likes, then talk about yourself and what you know in a way that relates to what he is saying.