Love issues at work

Hi, Basically, I'm really hating my job right now- not only is it boring and repetitive and I'm looked down on by other people I work with because they are mainly solicitors and other legal staff (whereas i'm an administrator there), but I mistakingly saw one of the solicitor guys on and off for about 9-10 months. I started seeing him after a work night out back in November of last year. Four of us were left at the end of the night and we kissed. I then texted him the next day and he completely blanked me. So I was a bit gutted, then eventually thought 'meh' and got on with my life. That is until he asked me out around December time for a drink. So we met up and it was nice, but he didn't call me til January. This time he invited me to his house and it was then that we started to get intimate and see each other more often. That was when I started to fall for him. When he went away on holiday in March skiing, beforehand, he had agreed to go into a proper relationship with me. Then, mid-week during his holiday, he texted me to say that he didn't want a relationship. That then upset me, but that still didn't stop me from seeing him anyway cos of my escalated feelings for him. Then in May, when I went to the Caribbean for a couple of weeks, I thought- yay, 2 weeks away from him and as far away as possible from him too- what could be better to help me get over him?! A week after I left for there, I'd pretty much forgotten about him, but then he texted me (quelle surprise) despite how far away I was. Unfortunately for him I was quite drunk and I then said the L word on the phone to him. Obviously he's a commitment-phobe anyway because he would never want me to be involved with his friends and family and he'd never wanted to be involved with mine. I'd always suspected he'd seen other people aside from me too, but this still didn't stop me from saying the L word. The thing is, whilst we were together, I must have fallen for him because I could talk to him about absolutely anything, he would buy food/drink for us both whenever he came round, we had quite a bit in common, could laugh about simple things and genuinely enjoy each other's company (well I don't know about him but I know I did) and he had a caring nature. The thing is, I've been messed around constantly- he always ummed and ahhed about continuing to see him and would always blow hot and cold. Then, a couple of weeks ago, he ended things. I can't believe he did that because, despite the fact I wanted a relationship with him and I knew that he didn't want one with me, I still grew attached to him and thought that we could at least maintain a friendship on the basis that we had lots in common. Also, I found that, whilst seeing him, our working relationship in the office would be healthier/much more positive. If ever we had a fall-out from one of those blowing hot and cold moments of his, I would be upset and try to avoid him, but he would always try and attract my attention and intentionally hover around near I worked, as if to glance at me at any given opportunity. It's like that now. Now that we're over for good, I'm upset, gorging on lots of junk food, putting on weight, spending nasty time alone etc, but I'd really like to leave this job and move on cos it's hard working under his nose all the time. My friends don't like the sound of him because they reckon he used me (and I think he did too) and it was as if he would see me whenever it suited him, on a schedule outside of his normal life with friends/family, on his terms. It wasn't fair and I feel so angry. I wish he'd ended things straight away after that first time he asked me out for a drink, because then I wouldn't get so attached. I've since deleted him as a friend on facebook, which helps, but whenever I see him at work, I can't help thinking that I'd love to kiss and hug him again :( I miss him so much and I'm in emotional turmoil cos I very much doubt I'll move in with another guy whilst I work in the same office as this one. I've in fact worked there for 3 years whilst he's only been there for 1 year, but I still think I should leave, otherwise how can I possibly move on? I worry I won't find other guys as attractive as this one. Let me know what you think- and apologies for this essay- had to get it off my chest!

First of all, why did you get involved with a guy that you knew didnt want a relationship? Dont change jobs just because of him, thats not a good reason to possibly screw up your career, or have another job that you might hate more.

The guy you are attached to is a waste of time, especially since you want a commitment and he doesn't. He may not have directly stated how he is with relationships, but his actions spoke for him. I'm glad you broke up with him for good, but do not punish yourself for it. Overeating and worrying about a guy who is obviously not good for you are not solutions. So, you need to look at the pros and cons of your job. If there are more cons, find somewhere else to work or something to do that counteracts the negativity. If there are more pros, stay where you are and make the best of it.