Facebook

So my gf has lots of guy friends on fb and instagram and I just recently found out without her knowing some of them were guys she use to hook up with before me, I've ask her who they are and all she says is a friend or I went to school with them and that can be a fact but I know more than what she thinks. Am I overthinking this situation, I mean why do you need these guys around if your happy right?

she might have self-esteem issues and needs lots of validation and/or play with others to give her a sense of power : this is not your problem - you must put up boundaries for yourself in what you will and will not accept in the relation.

Was there any inappropriate conversations? Just how many Male Friends is she talking to? I don't think your overthinking, I would ask her "Why do you need these guys around so much? Put her on the spot ask if any of them are old BF, If she yes (the truth-) then follow up as you se fit. If the reply is NO (a lie) then you'll know she might not be as happy as you though she was. Then proceed with caution.

girls dont see guy friends like guys see girls as friends. i have guy friends, my bf gets annoyed most of the time. but its really very innocent. i dont see anything in them or ever had an incident where any of them would flirt or show me any type of affection towards me but if that happens , i would surely back off. make it clear im in a legit relationship and im not interested. i have guy friends but i make sure they know im in a relationship. so if shes letting them know of ur existence then u shouldnt overthink. and always communicate. if u feel something fishy is goin on. talk abt it.

Well I think u may be over thinking it a bit and I say this because I've been in this exact same situation. Do u trust her? Do u love her? If there is trust in a relationship there should be no need to worries about who's on her Facebook. I have to say I absolutely hate social media ppl tend to take it to seriously then bring it into their relationship. Is not reality its Facebook. Now if she had been talking to them behind ur back or something that would be a different situation in itself but them simply just being on her friends list means nothing. I'm in a relationship and have many ex's and men on my Facebook account and none of it means anything. I also think it's a natural reaction tho. Because my bf had females on his Instagram and I freaked out lol witch was wrong. You just gotta have trust because if u don't have that what do u have?? And being controlling and making her feel fearful of who she has on it isn't OK. Maybe u can express that this makes u feel uncomfortable but ultimately it is not her u should be taking a look at it should be u taking a look at your own self and why it is u feel this way. It sounds to me like ur being a little insecure and then projecting that insecurity onto her and making her feel like she is doing something wrong. When in fact she probably isn't and it's just innocent. The biggest gift of love u can give a person is absolute freedom and trust. Just love her and trust her. I hope everything works out. Don't be so worried I'm sure everything's fine.

You are not over thinking it at all. The real killer of love is hiding the silly insecurities that we feel. We are supposed to hide these so called 'silly' thoughts because we as humans have learned that our survival chances increase when we 'stick together and get on with it'. However we no longer live in those times. These days we need to be honest about what makes us happy as well as what annoys us. By the time you want to become parents, you want to effortlessly be able to tell your partner "I adore you for who you are with your fb friends and your flirting and all your quirks and indulgences. Promise me you will never change as compared to others, you make me feel the most secure, the most sexy, the most wonderful. You make me feel great about being me". If you can't say that, you will not be good parents. So speak up about every little insecurity and don't worry, these insecurities are opportunities to find out if your love is real, or is it just a comfortable illusion to avoid loneliness. If you air out your insecurities and the discussion leads to you feeling loved, wonderful, if it leads to friction or more doubt, then love yourself enough to realise you are not with a love that is compatible for long term pleasurable happy cohabitation, admit this if not for your sake, then do it for the sake of saving your future kids from witnessing their parents constantly bicker over the silliest of things due to a life full of insecurity.