I feel like every thing I do is pointless

Ive spent a lot of time (probably way too much) thinking about what I want to do with my life. It feels like every thing I do has no meaning, no purpose, its just another minor event in an otherwise meaningless life. I tell myself that we should all make our own meaning for our existence but I come up empty. Then when I see all these people post things on social media about everything happens for a reason and God has a plan for all of us and it really pisses me off. It bothers me because I feel like they're wearing blinders and they refuse to challenge themselves and see the world in a different (and I believe more realistic) way. I should mention I am depressed and have been for a while and Ive been taking medication for almost a year. Being depressed doesnt help the feelings I have of everything being meaningless, and I tend to overthink things and compound the issues Im having. Ive just felt like this for a while and there was no one I felt I could really talk to in depth about all of this.

I feel like I can relate. I feel that way often. I to suffer from depression but I don't take medication for it i Just kinda deal with it. I just keep trying and telling myself that I have a purpose. I really want to believe I do but sometimes its hard. Why are u depressed?? Was there something that happened or do u just feel this way for no particular reason?

And I don't believe ppl have blinders on. I believe we create our own happiness and we can't be mad cuz there happy lol but I feel ya. Maybe I can help if u can tell me a little more about what's going on with you. Idk if I can help but I can surely listen.

Im depressed from things that happened to me that made me a cynical person and Im depressed because I get so angry and angry cuz I get so depressed its a vicious cycle I guess. Part of it is probably genetic too a lot of my family has a history of depression. When I get angry at other people i think a big part of it is really being angry with myself that I cant enjoy life like they can. Because of the things that have happened to myself, people around me and around the world really I dont see much reason to believe in any meanings or higher powers.

it's good you see the vicious circle you're in getting angry because you're depressed - then depressed because you're angry: fact is - you are not happy with yourself - don't compare yourself to others : ask yourself and find out what it is that would make you happy (can be ordinary simple little things)- I would take care with medication : some are said to induce depression as well as addiction to the meds : there too it can be a vicious circle - try to do concrete simple things that make you feel good : get involved in things - that will give meaning to what you're doing, you will feel more alive and it will boost your self-worth and self-esteem - maybe you could take an interest in spirituality : non-duality is interesting but is not to be taken to the point of nihilism because that will bring you back to depression - depression is like a syphon - it will suck you down as soon as you put one toe in it : don't - be aware each time you start to take the plunge and get to doing something really concrete (can be as simple as washing the dishes - walk the dog - make your bed - anything that is "for" life and not against it) - take a look at those things you're naturally good at and that you like doing and see what you can make out of it to be more and do more in your life.

The key point to this is you might probably have set a high target of life. I have been there too. Things always came unexpectedly, even the most horrific ones. I thought I could be "someone" like them. The ugly truth is life sucks and we can't get away from it but can only keep on living and trying our best. I have learned from the highest and lowest peak of my life that we just can't be someone who succeeds many things but one. Try to keep it down to one. One that you desire the most. You may have forgotten about that but try recalling what used to be your most passion. Hope this helps and I am in your shoes too ;)

it's good you see the vicious circle you're in getting angry because you're depressed - then depressed because you're angry : fact is - you are not happy with yourself - don't compare yourself to others : ask yourself and find out what it is that would make you happy (can be ordinary simple little things)- I would take care with medication : some are said to induce depression as well as addiction to the meds : there too it can be a vicious circle - try to do concrete simple things that make you feel good : get involved in things - that will give meaning to what you're doing, you will feel more alive and it will boost your self-worth and self-esteem - maybe you could take an interest in spirituality : non-duality is interesting but is not to be taken to the point of nihilism because that will bring you back to depression - depression is like a syphon - it will suck you down as soon as you put one toe in it : don't - be aware each time you start to take the plunge and get to doing something really concrete (can be as simple as washing the dishes - walk the dog - make your bed - anything that is "for" life and not against it) - take a look at those things you're naturally good at and that you like doing and see what you can make out of it to be more and do more in your life