Best friends ex-boyfriend
ANONYTY_GIRL - Dec 12 2015 at 01:25
Hi, I just had a school dance. Dances are full of drama, but I this one involved me. I've never had a boyfriend (let alone danced with a boy), today was different. My bestfriend, I'll call her Editt, her boyfriend, I call him Gregory. Well Wednesday, Editt told me she was going to break up with Gregory, she felt they were drifting apart. So today, Friday, she gave me a note, that I would give to him in my 8th period class. I gave it to them, then it was official, the couple was broken up. This day was the dance.
Editt wanted me to keep her away from Gregory, I was friends with Gregory still, so... I talked to him too. Then, the last dance... Gregory asked me to dance with him... I said yes because I was never asked to dance with anyone, and I probrably wouldn't ever again. Editt saw. She was mad/jealous/feeling betrayed. There was nothing romantic about it though. Yet... I'll just put a rough summary of me (M)and Gregory's convorsation:
G: Do you want to dance with me?
M: Sure
*awkwardness of putting hands on neck and running away momentarily*
M:Umm... Idk! yes! No! Yes!
*after the confusion was over*
M: I don't know what to do...
G: Put your hands around my neck, I put my hands on your hips, then we sway side-to-side.
M: Did you know Editt was going to break up with you?
G:No. Not really. But I understood.
*Kiah and Sam (a couple and Kiah is G's friend and Sam is my friend) are next to us (Kiah was very involved and liked Editt and Gregory's relationship)*
K: W-What? I- what?
M: (I play percussion with Sam and Kiah) I'll break your mallets and Sam will help too
S *laughs and looks at me*
M: *looks at Sam with a kinda afraid expression because I'm dancing with my best friend's ex for 45 min)
*Tristian (Gregory's really close friend) walks up to us)
T: You two should be a couple.
M&G: *in unison* no.
*Me and Gregory talk for a bit about random crap*
*After thinking for a bit I say what was in my mind* (I ask him this everyday)
M: Why don't you ever show emotion?
G: That is kept secret, I understand you. I figured something out with you.
(This is what confused me the most)
*We talk for a bit*
*Dance Ends*
Sorry this problem took so long. I thought detail would help. The thing is... I think Editts MAD MAD at me, idk if Gregory likes me. And I think Gregory likes me. What should I do about Gregory, Editt, and myself?
GIRL CODE: BEST FRIENDS BOY FRIENDS ARE OFF LIMITS.
GIRL CODE: BEST FRIENDS DON'T DATE, MISS AROUND, DANCE WITH BEST FRIENDS BOYFRIENDS.
Even on a friendship (non-romantic) level dancing with your Best friends boyfriend was inappropriate. Your body language spoke volumes-your hands around his neck with his hands on your hips, swaying side to side can be seen as " being too close".
My guess is he was using you to get back at her. Of course she was mad/jealous/feeling betrayed, this is the effect he wanted her to have and you were his pawn. Even though you are inexperienced and naive you had to know how this would look.
If Editt is REALLY your Best Friend then be her friend and apologize for dancing with Greg, admit you made a mistake.
If Editt is REALLY your Best Friend tell Greg that Editt is your Best Friend and your friendship with him will be the same as it always has been friends only.
It sounds to me like you get on well with Gregory. This is a great thing and the foundation for a good relationship -friendship or romantic relationship.
You also get on well with your best friend and want to keep her your best friend. Talk to her -tell her that you get on well with Gregory and want to talk to him and you want to keep her as your best friend. Tell her all the reasons you value her as your best friend. If she is a good friend she will probably not mind you talking to him. However she probably doesn't want to loose you as a best friend -if your talking to Gregory who will she talk to?
Understand that Editt may still have feelings for Gregory, you might want to tell her that you wouldn't start a romantic relationship with him if it would hurt her.
Maybe the best solution is for you all to be talking to each other and hanging out together as you all clearly get on -if Editt has drifted away from Gregory and broken up with him, why does she want to avoid him? Is she trying to punish him? You could ask her why she feels the need to avoid him?