Not knowing

In 2013 my husband and I became pregnant with our first. I moved back to the states, he stayed in Japan (military). In August he visited so we could marry, and our first was born in January 2014 - though they didn't meet until two weeks later. At my post six week appointment I found out I had chlamydia. I didn't have it the whole pregnancy - thank god - and it's curable, but none the less, he did it after marriage. He claimed he didn't remember, he was black out drunk. But when he finally moved here with us, I found multiple conversations online with other females, a lot of times he asked for photos. We discussed it, I thought it was done and over. We now have a second child, one of each gender, perfect, right? Yet I found a video from back in January 2015. It was of a body part, that wasn't mine. I never said anything to the girls that I found conversations of, told him to stop talking to them. But this one I had to. She claims it's not her, that they're just best friends. Then I called her out saying I found the video from her email to his. All she said was

****"okay". I don't know why it didn't finish my post. I don't know if I should do anything further to the girl, what do I do about him. His dad cheated on his mom for years, he understood his mom's depression, but never mine - which is why I threatened to tell his mom. But it's Christmas week, and how would I do it?

It also cut out that I have her phone number and email.

I think you shouldnt waste your time on the woman and have a real talk with your husband about how you feel .

J23, I've talked with him so many times, pleaded my heart, cried my eyes out. I feel like I'm not speaking the right language for him to really understand. And don't tell me to leave, I have no where to go, no means to go.

We've been to marriage counseling, learned about the 5 love languages. Didn't do us good, the counselor got to the point that he was saying the "d" word. But somehow without anything we were great right before our last appointment. We had a good stretch. But.... If I say those final words, I have no where to go, I don't have a degree or enough experience to go anywhere.