Crushing loneliness

Hello, I'm newly separated from my wife, and I have only myself to blame. Nonetheless, reconciliation on her end is not possible. But I miss her and my 5 year old daughter (even when I'm there for a few hours each day). I return to my apartment and am under crushing loneliness. I go out to the gym, market, etc., but still am under such profound loneliness. I don't know what to do... my life is in pieces... the thought of dating makes me ill. Help me if you can.

You just separated from your wife, and healing will take time. It may take years to even wrap your head around what has happened. You should not consider dating at this time because you still have a lot to figure out. Try to do things that you find enjoyable. Try to make yourself busy to deal with the loneliness. Also, reflect on your role in what happened to see if you need to change a part of yourself for the better.

My girlfriend and I got married less than a year ago, but decided to break up recently. It's difficult for me because we still live together at the moment, and recently we had a sort of rebound fling situation. But it hurts because, as much as I miss her and the life we were building together, she doesn't want to go through all that anymore. And I realize that I did a lot of damage to our relationship when we were in it, and especially now since it's over and I started dating a bit... I ruined what we had, it can't be the way it was before. I don't have kids, so I can't really imagine what it's like to share that bond with someone yet. (My wife and I did talk about it though.) The break-up was just so real, and painful, and dragged out for so long that I accepted it as it was happening. I started putting myself back out there right away.... And it didn't really go like I planned, but I met another woman fast. Now that's kind of awkward, I'm not sure what's going on with that whole situation. And I have mixed feelings about dating right now. It probably doesn't help that I'd had my mind set on another girl altogether who I'd taken an interest in over the past couple of years. Well I know it's not the most amazing feedback since I'm basically where you are. But I can empathize, and I can tell you that life goes on. You have to focus on yourself, and find someone who you naturally click with. If you just accept the first girl who asks you out, it might not work, and might cause even more problems like it did for me. There will be other women - there are lots of women to choose from, and that is really something to be happy about. We just have to make our next choice count.