Does he even love me?

I am in a 4 year relationship with my fiance, and I am to the end of my rope. I really just don't think he loves me the way a man should. He has never been the bread winner, and even makes excuses as to why he won't work full time. I feek like I have just given up on everything, because I'm not happy with him, and I have no motivation to make any changes until he either starts working full time, or till I get rid of him. We only have sex once a month, and its not pleasurable on my part at all. We don't even take our shirts off. 3 mins later were done, and I'm frustrated. I can never masterbate cause he is always home. And most men would get turned on if their woman was playing with herself, but not him! I'm so confused, and this is just the tip of the iceburg!

Why doesn't he want to work? Could it be fear? If you haven't worked in a long time it can effect your self esteem. Which brings me on to his libido. If he feels low about himself, particularly if he feels emasculated, he's not going to want sex. He's not doing what 'typical men' do. He's not the breadwinner and he can't please his woman. I suspect that if he worked, things might start to fall into place. You know him best. How could you motivate him? In the mean time, be gentle with his pride. Take responsibility for the quality of the sex you have. Don't let him get to it straight away. Show him what you want and give him lots of positive feedback.

Sorry, I note he works part time. It still stands that I think there's an element of fear there. The fear of failure maybe. If he doesn't try, he can't fail.

Because he expects me to pamper him. That's how I feel. He would rather make money illegal ways. He isn't the 9-5 type. And he knows that I am. He knows I have always had a great work ethic, and I think he expects me to take care of him. I will explain more tomo as I have to go now

He has got me so frustrated! As time goes on I just feel so alone. I have no friends,and I have nobody to talk to about this. He has been on his monyhly binge from husteling, and I don't know what to do. I am so beyond sexually frustrated! I literally haven't got off in so long! He is always home! God forbid having your horny girlfriend wanting to get off. I willnp never masyerbate with him home again cuz we live in a studio and I was doing it on the bed, and he's just at w other end of the bed doing his own damn thing, prob playing on his phone. I try talking about it, and he tries to turn it on me like he just sucks at helping me out, sorry his sex is so boring and short etc...but when I suggest trying new things he acts like he will just suck yada yada....anything to get out of the vanilla routine. I feel like he truly doesn't care about my feelings.

You have no desire to make changes you say and you are not happy . I'm all for fighting for a relationship but perhaps you should leave. life is short... You know Best if its worth fighting for. Im just saying that staying too long is not good either

It sounds to me like he needs a wake up call. You need to give him an ultimatum. Either he bucks his ideas up, gets himself a proper job and pays more attention to you or you end the relationship. Being in a loveless relationship is something I'm currently going through and I know in my heart of hearts I want it to end. I think you do to.