Down and crying a lot

Feel rock bottom.. My good friend (soul mate female) was murdered by her son 6 years ago took 3 years for the trial which was awful , the son that was with her son who was with her when she died 16 yr old is now self medicating on weed and valium. woried sick about him > then my partners business callapsed and had to sell his house and move in with me. Then a year ago I had breast cancer that hadn't spread had one chemo and turned to alternatives..all ok so far but the raw food diet has left me at 45 kilo from 55 and I feel awful as can'tput weight on...I. have hit a very low place recently. I have not gone down the victim road to the point I have no support from my partner..I am looking after him and often he acts like a guest here !!.now he has bough ta house for us to return to Wales .Uk and he spends a lot of time there where I am stuck here with animals. Just so down and I think it has all just hit me and need help. . .

I feel sorry for u . But hey u r not alone.We all are wid u . I think u shud try to mk more frds and read good stuff.your partner is selfish and u made a rong choice of marrying him but its late to discus ur marrg as u r totally depndent on him ryt now.. U hav to accpt him the way he is Lisn all of us weep wen things r hard on us but dont stop prayibg to God he lisns to our every whisper and IF u belv in him he will listn to u .. !

This is my two cents I think your a very strong person in fact I say it's rare. We make bad choices in life and some times Bad things happen like we are being punished for something. But just remember every scar you have is a more proof that you were stronger then what tried to take your life. Just keep living life best as you can and don't worry about what others think. Like I said you are a amazing person I am sorry to hear that you feel the way you do.but someone like you can do anything. Just do what you think is best for you. If it's worth anything I just want to say If I was in your shoes I would have ran away