Girls nights out, am I really missing out?

My husband has had a few bad relationships in the past, his partners have cheated on him always follow a girls night out. It's left him hurt & with difficulties trusting people. I often get asked to go on girls nights out but I don't very often go because it makes him uncomfortable. Although he knows I won't cheat & he knows I'm not like his other partners, I just rather not stir up old bad memories for him. I would like others opinions on this. Alot of people don't understand why I don't go on these nights out, I feel in a relationship you should do whatever you can to help your partner. What do you think?

I totally agree. Putting your husband's feeling first and making him the priority vs a girls night out is what love is all about. Girls Night Out" has been used to cover some woman's desire to be single..If it meant that woman met for dinner, then chick flick and home would be one thing. Your husband is very lucky to have you!!Respect your marriage you got it right.

Thanks for your reply, it's a comfort to know that you agree with me as alot of women don't. I feel different than alot of my friends but now I feel like it's a positive thing rather than the wrong thing.

Hi Eileen, I use to be a jealous guy for the similar reasons as your husband . U can stay home , that's ok . If u feel trapped sometimes . Talk to him about what your going to do. If u go out to dinner or a movie with your friends it's a little different then going to a bar . My trust or worry was always knowing how my wife would respond to a situation . Trust is important . Just don't make yourself unhappy feeding jealousy. If u would like my advise feel free to ask .

i do believe woman need their girl time and female friends, luncheons, shoppings, spa day, these activities are not the same as Girls Night Out. What does a girls night out with your friends entail?

Ditto. And do we take it that these women friends that are so keen on regular 'girls' nights out' have been trying to make you feel wrong for consistently declining their invitations to join them? And is that because they need the venting and complaining time whereas your apparently not needing it leaves them feeling envious and/or as if their own romances must be sub-standard in comparison to yours unless you *do* give in to their nagging and pressuring?

Eileen I think you are doing more than your ''fair share'' to make your partner happy, and it is 110% the right thing to do. Making sure your partner is secure and happy comes before going out to party. I was really moved by your love for your partner, and putting his needs and insecurities first. I would say that if YOU felt you wanted to have a girls night out, then maybe you could ease him in gently. As some of the others have suggested how about saying to your partner that you would like to go to dinner and movies with friends. Maybe even make sure it is with friends he is familiar with who are also married or 'unavailable and not looking'. This would help him feel less threatened. If you did this....once every few months or so it would gradually help him build up trust. If you DONT feel the need to go out, then simply tell your friends you have other plans, or whatever. Sometimes our pals try to pressure us into things, so they don't feel bad about what they are doing (not that you should feel bad for enjoying a night out!). For example: You go out with your partner to a buffet and you can happily eat 3 plates or whatever, but when you have friends around you all may want a 2 or 3rd plate but you dont go because you all feel judged...Or you have that extra drink because they all are and you dont want to be the spoil sport. This is the same thing. They are trying to get you to do it so you are just as ''guilty''.