Is it me or my girlfriend?

OK.. so this is going to be very long! I'm in the category of a young lover and for being a teenager i have been in a very long relationship [1 year and 2 months] me and my girlfriend fight ALL the time.. although we fight we still seem to be able to stay together over it all. before i go on i feel you need to know, iv cheated on her a while back and she forgave me.. it was a mistake on my part and i fully regret it, in this relationship a promise is a promise and neither of us can break that. so i promised her id never ever do it again. the problem was that she liked to control everything, she liked to wear the jeans in the relationship not too much anymore (that was a main factor i cheated; i felt like i was drifting away, because she was leading me away with her bossiness and plus i never had two pretty girls like me at once. I REGRET IT THOUGH.) now I'm not really sure what all the fighting is always about. i easily get mad at her for any little thing she does, i guess because she should know the the type of guy i am. i feel like she does really stupid things and she should also just know more in general. why she gets mad at me? because i get mad at her. I don't know if i have the reason to get mad at her or not but she just does a lot of little stupid things. for example; -when i see her after a week she looks at me disgusted and tells me i smell bad, yea i know shes playing but its not exactly what i want to hear after soo long of missing her. - we love to look at each other to tell everything about each other but the thing is i cant look at her because she doesn't like it but she can look at me. [major problem in our relationship she can do things like that and it'd be OK but if i do it its a different story]. - this one is me I'm sure, she loves to call me all the time. no matter what. and i get very annoyed i like to do my own stuff like have time to myself since the rest is spent on her i think its only fair. at least the time i am able to give her is hers because i have soo much more homework than her. - we both LOVE to be right and we argue on that a lot. arguing leads to more arguing but we cant give up on each other we just cant. the love is too strong. in person everything's fine, its perfect most of the time were happy hugging kissing, sometimes there are mishaps where we get mad but over all were happy generally. over the phone i just don't like it, its not the same. i try giving us together as one advice like lets talk less because its too much, or text me before calling but she doesn't like it. she just does a lot of little things to get me mad and it almost feels like its on purpose because she should know what ticks me off by now. maybe I'm expecting too much from her? It seems like shes all bad but i have my times too. I'm like my father he gets mad very quickly. any little thing ticks me off so it happens often but to me its for a reason but i guess that's just my side.. please respond i need your help! we need your help if there's any questions please ask to fill you in more i typed what i could remember for now.. ooo we always talk about breaking up but we both know we cant go through with.. and we have had sex twice and it meant a lot to us. I truly love her and i need to fix things with her because i don't either of us hurting especially her. i guess my questions are: What would be our best choice? Who has more reason in the relationship? and whatever else you want to tell me for advice.

(The answer to your question "Is it me or my girlfriend?" is that it is both of you. I dunno if I made that clear in my reply below, but realize that it is not a "you against her" situation. You have your problems and your girlfriend has hers too, so you two should work together to overcome them.) You can't assume that she is going to know what you think she should know. If you want her to not do something, you need to let her know what gets on your nerves and how you react to certain things. Since you two do fight frequently, that indicates to me that there is either misunderstandings or there are lingering control issues. For instance, when she joked and said that you smelled bad, it might have been teasing, but you were hurt by it. You shrugged it off, hiding that pain, which builds up eventually. You consciously said "It's a joke." But since you love her so much, you were still hurt by it. It may not seem like a big thing, but the details are important. Of course, I'm sure that there are ways that she is hurt by you, and you don't mean to hurt her emotionally, but nevertheless she is hurt. If you don't like the way she is treating you, not only do you have to address it, but you need to let her know that the relationship cannot continue unless you two find better ways to deal with your problems. I am not saying that arguements should never happen (because sometimes an arguement needs to happen in order to get everything out in the open), but they should not be about every little thing. Have one fight or talk about the main problems in your relationship, have her commit to making things better and have yourself commit to it, too. Since your major problem is that she acts like she can do whatever she wants but she puts limits on what you can do, that is an issue of control. Here, she is telling you what you can't do, yet she has a different set of rules for herself. Don't let her tell you what you can and can't do, you are not her child. She can suggest things to you, she can even say what she thinks is the right thing to do, but she cannot dictate your choices. Now, it could be that one time she is right about something, and you decide to do the wrong thing. If you take responsibility for what you do and you make a commitment to make it up to her, then that is all that needs to be said. Similarly, if you are right about something, and she decides to do something else, that is her decision. If she messes up, she should take responsibility for it. In other words, you can agree to disagree. If she tells you not to do something, yet she does it, call her out on her own hypocrisy. Tell her that you don't like it when she does certain things either, and since you have respected her wishes, she should respect yours. It is okay for both of you to feel like you are right, but at the end of the day, you love each other, and that should come first. You are a reasonable guy and I'm sure she is reasonable too. Focus on your love for her, and try to show that as much as you can. Just remember that sometimes this requires you to tell her what she needs to work on. Encourage her to do the same for you. I hope this is helpful to you. I wish you and her the best. TILES

TILES thank you for the advice I'll keep this in mind. The thing is we do talk about it and when it gets out of hand we do have times where we let out all of which that bothers us and what we think each other should improve on, we still end up fighting at least a few days later. I'm not saying i want to stop fighting completely because it has help us a lot but we don't want to fight as much. Are there any other ways to settle our difference or do we just keep trying at it until it becomes clear to the both of us?

Just keep trying. If you both don't want the fights to be as frequent, then you might have to stop some conversations before they get out of hand. You don't want to get to the point where you say things you don't mean. Not all problems can be solved in one argument. It may take years, some may never be completely solved, but the more you work on them, the better it will be.

Thank you soooo much for the advice. hopefully this all works because i really truly love this girl.

Gosh there is a lot of adjustments you both have to do in this relation! The more you need to change yourself the less comfortable you are making yourself. Which in turn will lead to unhappiness and fights. Her expectations of how a partner should be does not match your expectation and vice versa. Right now both of you are in love and like they say "Love is blind". So the faults in the relationship will look small and insignificant. As time moves on and the initial love decreases, these very faults will stare out in the open. If this relationship has to reach a harmony level, a lot of communication and a lot of hardwork has to go into it. Consciously both of you should try to stop stepping on each others toes. But if she says something stupid like 'you smell bad' and since you decide you don't want to make a fight out of it so decide to ignore. Inside you will still hurt? That will keep building up and one day explode. Same goes for her.