A sister's betrayal and irrevocable words

I am going to keep this short and try to explain really disheartening things in a gist. I am my parents only child. All my aunts (mom's sisters) have two kids. I have grown up without a sister or a brother and my cousin sister (two years elder to me) was like my own sister. We cared for each other so much that both of us never really felt we were born to different mothers. A strange thing happened then that my sister's friend faked her identity and started messaging me with a fake name. I asked my sister several times (so many times out of curious doubts) if she knew the number (since it was a same area network provider number). She downright refused it and said she had no idea of the number. This girl was my pen friend (she faked her name, identity and God knows what all) for the last 1.7 years. I traveled to my sister's place north of the country for vacation and found out by accident that messages from that number (that girl's) were present in my sister's old phone. Honestly it was pure accident that I found the number. I left the place in two hours without informing her after convincing my aunt i had urgent work at home town. She called me but I never answered her call. The girl was in the same apartment as her's and both were close friends. In every single conversation with my pen friend I was genuine and considering her precious. But she knew all about me and was making my precious friendship a fake one for fun Forget all about the girl. I couldn't bear all that my sister did this to me. I lost control of myself, fell into uncontrollable tears and really embarrassing fits of anger and hurled abuses at my sister that no brother can ever do. I regret it now and will do till my life's end. till my last breath. Both of us have been pushed to extremes of disbelief now and she has sent a formal mail dissociating herself and her sister from me. I felt terrible when she referred to our younger sister as her little sister. I have done my mistakes but I just am not able to digest the fact that she lied to me. I asked her to swear on me that she didn't know the girl right at the start which she did. I just cant bear that my sister and a girl did this to me. How can she swear a lie on my head? I thought i was her brother, brother she was proud of and she was the only sister i had. An own sister would never do this would she?. She would not let her smart brother get fooled by some random girl would she? But wasn't she my own? Now we are in a wreck and haven't talked for two weeks. Will this settle down? Will she ever talk to me again? My parents love me a lot but i considered her as my own sister and she has said that it is she and her sister and i am not one in her blood. :( I am not able to accept this rift and I am just hoping that she(my sister) thinks the same about me. I do not really care about the other girl who did this but was my sister's love false? I am feeling very alone in this world now.

You are very hurt (Understandably. I would be too. You don't just play with people's feelings), and it may take a long time to get over what your sister did (or you may never get over it). But just know that both of you love each other and that is not the problem. The problem is you feel screwed around with and you don't want her to just think it's fine or it's no big deal. Anyone can do this to you, especially the ones closest to you. But that does not mean that you can't trust; However, you need to keep in mind that it can happen. Just because someone is close to you does not mean he/she should get a free pass, and you handled it the best way you could at the time. The thing is, it is up to you whether or not you want to reconcile right now. If you do decide to talk to your sister again, let her know that you are still having trouble with what she did and how she hurt you, but you care about her and want her to have a role in your life. You might not be able to trust her like you did before, but you can still talk with her and spend time with her so that you can mend the relationship. On the other hand, if you need more time to digest this and work out the pain you feel, take as much time as you need. This might be days, months, years, you just don't know. Choose this option if you think that you guys need time to understand one another or if your sister acted like your opinion didn't matter. (Some siblings will act like they will do whatever they feel like, and you should have nothing to say. Trust me when I say it is hard to reconcile with someone who has this mindset. It is best, in this case, to show some (very) tough love and/or let him/her go his/her own way, which is difficult and gut-wrenching to do. I've been through something similar to this, and I had to make a tough love choice. Beyond difficult, but very necessary, and hopefully, you don't have to make that kind of choice.) So, make sure that whatever you decide, you can say at the end of the day that it is the best thing to do. TILES

Thank you very much Tiles. You have replied very earnestly. I'm really grateful for this. I will not be able to decide soon and in a dilemma over what i should do. I'm taking my time and she is upset with what I said as well. Some words I used were unthinkable. i lost my mind in the anger(which was totally out of frustration that someone I loved lied to me). The friend was always secondary. I think she still chooses her friend to me. I'm forced to think after long hours of thinking that this is because we do not have a blood relation as she is my cousin sister. Crazy dilemma this kills me.