The soul contract theory and other questions

Has anyone heard of the soul contract theory? It's the idea that before You're born you choose your nationality, family, friends and some probable situations. I have a problem with that theory for a number of reasons: No1. I'm an atheist/sceptic/frantically curious, my entire family are religious and very judgemental so off course they don't know about my religious views. I'm a straight female but sometimes I wish to be lesbian to irritate them seeing as they're very homophobic. My family (as individuals , not because of religion) are my sworn enemies. Why would I choose to born to enemies who only serve to break me down? Or just annoy me? My family has made me hate family (until I visit my friends and admire their loving families, then once I'm home it's hate again) No2. If we choose to be here and learn certain "lessons", what's the purpose of being born into poverty or a lower income group. I'm pretty sure I'd prefer to have spoilt rich kid problems over worrying about student debt and unemployment. And being poor hasn't inspired Me to be humble and grateful and kind, I want to be rude, shallow, spend money and party No3. How do We know if we're headed in the right direction in life? If there's "fate" or "destiny" , is it possible to never achieve what you're supposed to achieve. Lets say for instance someone chooses to be a hobo and do absolutely nothing, later dying of starvation and dehydration. Is that their destiny? No4. I want to believe in reincarnation because if this is my first and last life, I have messed up BIG time. And also, people claim that when You die , you first see a life review... I don't want to see that. Nobody wants to see themselves doing things they regret. It's like having a hidden camera monitering you and being made to watch in front of an audience. Every nose pick, every one night stand, every black out,every break up- which is just cruelty No5. I'd been chatting to a guy I'd never met for 5 years, lets call him Kay. Last year He came to my town and couldn't get a hold of me. My ex at the time had stolen my phone and was abusing me. Why ??? Why did the Universe keep Me away from who could potentially be my best friend? What could I possibly learn from such a horrible experience except that I should not trust anyone who resembles or behaves like my ex???? I am so angry, I could've had the happiest year of my life but I chose my own downfall No6. If we have so much "choice" , why can't we change our minds? I would probably get longer hair, get my virginity back since none of those guys were worth my time anyway and maybe win the lottery. I saw a man on tv who won a million for a competition, He looked alcoholic and it wasn't fair. No7. What if there's nowhere to go after we die??????? No8. Will we meet people who passed that we knew when we die? I honestly don't want to meet my Father, we never got along. And my gran looks terrifying in the pictures. I'd like to meet Jimi Hendrix, Marilyn Monroe, Kurt Corbain and Amy Whinehouse. The idea of that excites me so much that I'm willing to cast aside atheism for a bit No9. Are near death experiences wishful thinking, because how can you die and come back or "nearly die" and come back. I read some people didn't want to come back but where told " It's not your time" . Shouldn't You be able to decide when You go if You CHOSE to be here in the first place? A friend of mine had a motorbike accident and He said He went to purgatory and met his Guardian,I don't buy that. Especially since He reads too much sci fi. His story is too sensational And other questions: No10. If "God" is One consciousness, for example why haven't I met Rihanna or bought a Mustang? I think about it all the time, surely it should manifest. Instead there is war, hate and disease No11. I want to go back to where I came from before I entered the womb. Can you will yourself to live a shorter life? Perhaps through meditation? No12. Reality is so boring, if we are infinite beings, surely there should be more magic and "Va va". And don't tell me about magicians, movies and all the things humanity has invented. It's been eons since the ice age, and we still drive on the road and bake bread. I'm not impressed

No13. I hope I don't have a Guardian because then what's the point if they don't even say anything. I mean , all these claims in having a sixth sense, being protected by loving beings etc should've made the world Paradise by now. Apart of Me don't like the World much, though it's very beautiful humans spoil the experience. Another part loves Humans, thanks to Comedians. They help Me understand why we live together in a society. No14. Why did Early man have an imagination and praise deities? I love my creativity and imagination but it is the death of me, as soon as I slip away from My Art I realise how boring life is. Can you believe some of my happiest experiences are when I'm dreaming? Just the other day I dreamt of a futuristic mermaid and Katy Perry's Et playing in the background. It was so epic No15. Artists don't belong on Earth, we should be in other dimensions.

No16. My favourite ex has a new and boring girlfiend. Why Universe??? Why?? He should replace Me with a Halle Berry not a pretty but simple simpleton. He even sold my favourite dog :( . I wish I knew someone amazing so that I could make him consider resorting to jealousy. But alas, though I'm 22 , My Aunt will never let me leave her house. (I left my Mom's house and out of town to live with Aunt after the abusive ex incident)

religion - to me - is I believe a means to keep a population in control (for spiritual reasons) - control leads to being judgemental - I personally do believe in God (but I don't go to church) but then I think it's indeed something quite personal opposing something or someone just for the fact of opposing - will produce this very effect : opposition - because you are emitting it - thus producing it - then corresponding vibrations respond in accordance - logic your enemy is only your enemy as long as you see it that way : they may behave in bad ways but it is in the end your view on it that will determine the way you see it I don't know if we choose a certain life - and if we do that consciously - I'd rather believe in some logic outcomes that make things happen in a certain way - there is no good or bad in that - it just logically is or has become that way - that's what some call karma : the logical way things necessarily unfold - thus it could be that if we reincarnate - we do so on the basis of what was not resolved before - that makes us "want" to go back to get it right - and what truly stays when all is said and done - is what is felt as conscious feeling -it is not guilt or shame but the intense and sincere desire to somehow do it differently - better - because I believe we all deep down want good - and not bad being poor or rich : the same problems are there - they just look different I believe it is possible to not or never achieve what we intended to achieve when coming here down to earth : we can mess it up a thousand times a day if we wish so - we do have free choice you say you don't want to se the things you regret - but those are the very unresolved things that will make you come back in another life : they don't need to be resolved with another - they need to be with you - what you run from runs after you we have to learn how to get away and stay away from abusive people - this has to do with self-worth, self-respect and self-esteem : that's why these people appear in our lives - because we lack those inner values and they reflect what we level we vibrate on - the abusers and the abused attract each other to resolve the opposition or breach what has been done and said can not be retracted - you will not get your virginity back but you can make yourself feel like a virgin - you can change your mind - you can work on programming your thinking patterns differently things in life are not fair or unfair : they're logic - and as much as we are individually accountable we are also collectively : so not all depends on you or me - some things are already in motion with or without us - and they will have to come full circle what dies is the body and all that's related to that - not consciousness - where is consciousness ? is it located somewhere ? it is where you are : so after you die you will most probably be right were you are - logic again I believe we meet those who loved us and whom we loved - the same way a newborn is welcomed here on earth by all those that are happy to see him/her be born - the same way "on the other side" there will be souls happy to see and greet you - logic of course you can decide when you want to go/die : it's not very difficult to die - but do you think you have done all you wanted to do down here ? it's better if we can go when we feel we've come full circle - logic I believe life is One - but it expresses itself in a million ways : so the ramifications are infinite - in an instant everything is accomplished but it takes time to unfold and considering the complexity of life - that can take some time the magic of life is everywhere - all over the place - all the time - what you find boring is yourself maybe - because you want to change but you expect things and people a,d situations to change reality is exactly and precisely what is happening right here and now : there is no other reality

guardians or spirit guides do speak and communicate but it is not with thoughts - it's the knowing : if you listen - you know deep inside imagination is the source we can draw from to envision - but reality is in what we do and say - I believe things are created in spirit but they are accomplished here and now artists can be people who are trying to deal with their subconscious or unconscious - sometimes having access to other realms such as all that lives in nature - the wind - the sky - the cycles of life - they can have access to those things that float beyond time and space - some take drugs to access these planes - Baudelaire for example - but always they need to come back down here where it's happening

How can You be so sure of what you're saying? Life here is all that most of us know, it's difficult to imagine Early man developing a spiritual consciousness in a very solid 3d environment. I don't know if I'm making sense