PeoplesProblems Logo

Confused about the next move...

Default profile image
I'm with my girlfriend for a little over a year, For the past while we've been having some fights with the last one almost ending our relationship. The last fight was due to my jealousy as I was protesting about her going out socializing with other guys while I'm away for work, one of which she met on the same dating website as we met. I trust her completely but was feeling insecure at the time. Since I got back she has told me that she's not sure anymore about us and needs to see if she can fall back in love with me. I'm terrified of loosing her as I can't imagine my life without her. I'm trying to figure out if I should completely back off or should I keep trying by trying to convince her that we are good together. I'm usually the one giving people relationship advice but now I'm the one completely stumped. Any help please.....

Confused about the next move...

Default profile image
If she told you she's not in love with you anymore and doesn't want to stop socializing with guys then don't try its not worth it. If she loved you and respected you, you wouldn't be put in this situation with her. I've been there man, my girl would go have drinks with her guy friends while I was working during the day and I explained to her I wasn't comfortable with it. She respected that and I had also told her I am a lil insecure because of my past and she said she understands. You cant convince someone your worth, you have to know it yourself and tell yourself am I really gonna take the chance of staying after she told me she doesn't love me and get hurt in the long run. NO leave now... stay busy and continue moving forward ... good luck

Confused about the next move...

Default profile image
Agree. I mean... "The last fight was due to my jealousy as I was protesting about her going out socializing with other guys while I'm away for work, one of which she met on the same dating website as we met. I trust her completely but was feeling insecure at the time." ...come ONNNN! You trust her completely despite she's been behaving in untrustworthy ways, specifically, socialising with guys who obviously were 'desperately seeking' and, going by their agreeing to 'be friends' with her, still are (or like how she makes their gfs jealous and insecure)? And now, 'suddenly' needs space in which to work out whether she wants to continue being in a relationship with you? And that's not her problem but yours? For being 'insecure'? No, it's not. Frankly, if you *weren't* feeling insecure I'd think there were something wrong with you. "I can't imagine my life without her." Yes you can. It's called remembering what life was like in the years before you met her but then adding this and that new improvement/development/situation to that whole past scenario. 'Needs to see'. Pff. What she need to see is whether she can get another relationship off the ground, meanwhile, keeping you warm and waiting in the wings in case she can't and can come back to you rather than be single and alone for any length of time. Yep, take that convenience/option away from her. You're nobody's safetynet. Unless, like BEAR says, you agree to be used like that. Free yourself up so that you'll be at the stop when the next 'bus' comes along. Saying all of that, however: she might merely be trying to make you up your ante? So define 'away for work'? Also, define 'trying to convince her'?

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-0