Fellow spouses affected by Xbox addiction

Ok start from beginning we will be married 2 years next month. We have 3 kids two from previous relationship of mine one is disabled then we have a son together. We were doing great till he quit his job due to find a dead inmate at the local prison he got on Xbox and never got off then he got another job and it got better again. Then his Kim passed in October of last year I planned the funeral paid for it and her headstone by myself. He didn't go to funeral I did in his stead. He got hooked on Xbox again then a month exactly after his moms passing my brother committed suicide. My dad an me found him i cant talk to him about it cause he changes it to his mom. Then he had emergency surgery in April 2016 and now all he does is play Xbox doesn't help with bills kids house nothing is my marriage savable or am I being used. Im in love emotionally not physiologically he isn't the man I married

I don't think you're being used. I think the Xbox is the 'one' being used. If nothing had been wrong/had happened, business as usual, THEN you could worry you were being used. But there is. Clearly he's traumatised and disturbed. And so he's using the Xbox as a bolt hole... something to do and deal with, rather than sitting around thinking horrid thoughts, and which takes his mind off everything, but too distracting to allow reality to keep tapping noticeably on his shoulder. Could be worse, he could have climbed into a bottle. Still, what do *you* care what his 'poison' happens to be if it leaves you effectively a single mother. I'm sure his no longer caring at the moment *feels* like some permanent development. But it's obvious he needs grief counselling (and you). Why haven't the pair of you sought it? Don't you think you're quite (for want of a better expression) fortunate to both be in the same boat, meaning, can attend one counsellor together? Yes, it's salvageable, in other words. But not if no-one does anything of any consequence. You're aware there's a directory of counsellors on this forum, I take it?