Don't know where I'm going

Was in a relationship for 8 years,had a lot of problems from a previous relationship but didn't let it interfere with my present one. I'm a former soldier who "carries around a lot of baggage in my head" my ex split with me around 4 months ago as someone had asked her out. This isn't as bad as it sounds on my ex's part as previously we were just more like friends than partners as we'd not had sex for over 18 months and only saw eachother 2 times per week. But in my heart we were as solid as ever, I wasn't interested in anyone else and she was still the love of my life. she dropped me with someone had asked her out and I just kinda let her slip away as I thought it was for the best. But then I realised I'd lost my world. I decided to goto combat stress and have bin doing well. I wish I'd done it years ago. My ex texted me and told me she missed me, we've bin on a date and getting me in a crowded room with people behind my back and noise is a real step forward for me, we've also had the best sex we've ever had in my opinion. Her family have never liked me because I'm not from a posh area and my family are rough n ready. They've constantly talked about me with hurtful things and I'm not the type to let things go lightly. They've told her if she see's me again they've done with her. her son, mother and brother all like to control her which to a degree seems to me like they do. I've never hurt her and tried to help her with everything. we're seeing eachother at the moment but it's hurting me being like this. she says she's under a lot of stress at the moment and doesn't know what she wants! The problem before was I didn't go anywere and our relationship was non existent. Ive changed in myself the past 4 months, but feel like "Im damned if I do and damned if I don't" .. I want to spend time with her but its like im being pushed away. I don't know if I should leave her and tell her to come find me if she wants me ...

Hey Mate, this is a tough situation my friend and I can relate to it. However, you know exactly what you have to do but you are not doing it. There is one rule in this life: IF YOU DO NOT CHANGE WHAT YOU ARE DOING TODAY YOUR TOMORROW WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME. If you keep thinking you have issues and you cannot cope with them, you will always have issues and you will never cope with them; TIME TO CHANGE YOUR THINKING BROTHER. Like you say you come from a family that is Rough N Ready; so grow some balls and pick yourself up. Sorry to be direct but you were in the army, Right? so just pick yourself up,...NOW!! you know you have to do this so just go and do it mate. If Your woman Loves You She will follow you wherever you go; life is too short to piss about; think positive and be positive and positive things will happen to you. God Bless and Good Luck.

Loud n clear mate! Needed that if am honest. I'd rather hear something straight than pussyfoot around :)

Agreed totally!! Seems to me like The Dolfyn's advice is for me too. Keep your chin up and push forward you are a soldier.

Guess its like if you live in the past you never move forward! Just hard when you've got so much stuff rattling around in your head its almost impossible to focus on anything else .. but am looking forward, bin a good day today :)