Anorexic (ED-nos) but at a healthy weight - what to do?

I am anorexic, but at a healthy weight (BMI 19-20). Male CS engineer in his mid twenties. I struggle with it daily, often skipping meals or starving myself for days on end. My personality is withering away and my favourite hobby, the love of my life, has taken a poor back seat. Any help I get from doctors or similar hasn't worked and I do not get to see any specialists here in my country since I am not underweight and thus not a severe case... Even though my eating disorder has turned into (daily) alcoholism as well. What do I do? Do I launch myself at food or what? Does anybody know or have experience in this? :(

Sometimes People that are really connected with TRUTH, and are deeply engaged or focused on what they do....feed themselves with that powerful energy. Its a cycle of energy that we should all be striving for in our lives. But sometimes our brain doesn't get the signal to say that I am hungry. Because we are so occupied. With practice of not listening or taking control of our needs, we create patterns in our system. Our body adapts But our system eventually starts to break down because it is not getting what it NEEDS. What was once a healthy person ABLE TO CONNECT is now not as healthy and less able to connect.... or focus. Do some research. Convince yourself with all the facts... that you should eat... and that you should eat frequently. Make a sheet of information FACTS for yourself. Review that sheet regularly....before you know it you will have changed the patterns that you have created. Nuts are packed with so many nutrients...keep them around in your car, in your bag, at home...if you are late for lunch or supper...eat them...they are so very healthy. There is a GLORIOUS world of food... explore, have fun, the colours the flavours, the scents. Appreciate food for all its beauty and power. Don't focus on the trouble or the label of anorexia... focus on what what is going to work for you. If you have body image issues.. go to the gym and build MUSCLE... which burns fat. AND makes you stronger. Right now you are getting weaker. The alcohol drinking... is your confusion. You not knowing how to function without the FOCUS that you once had. A decision that will only make everything worse. Get better. Do the research... Why do we eat? What does our bodies need. What does your brain need. What does your liver need. There are lots of questions... you need to create a page of information that convinces YOU. Of what is true. So you BELIEVE it... and make the decision to live it.

Just a few other thoughts running through my mind... In life You are going to suffer. We ALL do. How much we suffer CAN be up to us... and our ability to take care of ourselves. How much we are able to build. You are right now weakening yourself and your immunity system... making you suseptable to more illnesses and disease. More suffering. There is a world of spices in the east... that fight off illness that can only be found... in food. Another information sheet that you can create. Have you seen the movie RATATOUILLE? Its one of my favorites!!! You have to see it!! There are lots of programs online.. on youtube where people are cooking wonderful foods... they LOVE what they are doing.. they have a passion for food. Find some characters that you like.. hosts... and enjoy the programming even if you are not going to cook that recipe. Its fun, its engaging... and inspiring. This might help with the programming. Your mind will have the program in your mind.. and trigger your hunger thoughts. I like Martha Stewart, I also like the FOOD NETWORK, GORDON RAMSAY.... There are also less famous people on youtube... pretty ladies!!! LOL Just have fun!! Do you have friends that like to go to restaurants.. go out with them! Have Fun. Take care

The important thing to remember when watching film or youtube... Is that your thoughts are positive and open to the idea of food. If you thoughts are negative, or not interested... and you are rejecting what you are seeing with your thinking, but watching it because its supposed to help. IT WONT. It will further impress the track that you have created in practice. The rejection of food. You see... its our thoughts that create paths. You have to change your thinking... when it comes to food. Similarily.. your thoughts have created a path that have told you alcohol is the right choice... and its powerful chemicals have created an even deeper path with the flow of material and reactions your body has to it. So... be careful of your thoughts.. so that you do not move back wards and in circles... but forward.