Heartbroken for me and my unborn
NICOLE110916 - Sep 6 2016 at 05:17
Back in February i had met some one and we had a friends with benefits relationship as far as i had known he was single i would go over his house every night and see him him we didn't always hook up some nights we would just lay and cuddle and watch tv but it began to become more serious then just a hook up i started to get feelings he said he had started talking to someone else but he would stop if i wanted to make things official. i thought about it a few days then discovered in the beginning of march i was pregnant i told him. He begged me to keep it so i did and we decided to be together and see what happens.
after beginning our new relationship i discovered he hadn't been 100% truthful and he was still talking with this other girl. I gave him a chance to end it with me or her he said he wanted me and left her alone i believed it til i started seeing things on facebook again a few weeks later. I confronted her and she said they were together and he spends every night up the street with her(they live on the same street two differnt blocks) Me and her talked and figured out that he had been lieing to her about who i was and at night when i would leave he would walk up the street to her house. NOt sure what he was telling her but me and her argued almost fought three times all while i was pregnant.
May i was kicked out of my house and this other woman took me in with my baby father and i lived there til middle of june. During that time me and her got close then i realized she was just trying to rip me and him apart and it was working. i worked things out with my mom and moved home. ive been here ever since still trying to figure out what and how to make any type of realtionship work with my babyfather. he constantly lies and says shes giving him money and a place to stay and thats why he does but me and our son mean the world to me.
tonight things got bad. the last few days have been great then today i needed money for an appt tomrrow and to talk to him about us. He ignored me all day so i went and walked around the neighborhood til i finally found him at his moms house. He tried to walk away but i followed he gave me 40$ and tld me to leave i refused to we nevr ended up talking but he said he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. I then talked to his mom who said she wasnt getting in it it was on me. As im writing this i know i sound dumb and should leave him alone but i cant. I want my son to have both parents together or not. It breaks my heart knowing im the only person who loves my chikd and cares about him and what he deserves.
You should be there for that baby. And that guy should probably be giving you child support.
Give him one more chance to be in the baby's life. Either way, $40 isn't going to cut it. He needs to financially support his child that he helped make.
Firstly, so sorry this is happening. And that there will be a child brought into that mess...
ALTREAL has it right. You can't make someone want you, or their own child. And ask yourself this: why would you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you, FULL TIME and in a COMMITTED, FAITHFUL relationship?
Yes, he is the father of your child. He's not your husband. And clearly isn't ever going to be. It hurts to let go of the picture in your head of how things should be. But that's what you need to do. You can make your own picture, with you and your child at the heart of it, and the baby's father as much in the picture as he wants, and you feel is healthy. Just because you aren't together as a couple doesn't meant he can't be a father and/or support you and the child financially. He can still be as much a part of the child's life as he wants and you feel is good for your child. But you can't cling to the illusion that he'll be a real part of your new family.
You're stronger than you think. Ask yourself some hard questions. Make some difficult decisions. And remember that you and your child come first. Reach out to your own support network instead of relying on people in his circle. Don't initiate contact. Be civil when you need to communicate, but keep it like a business relationship. He's the parent of your child, but that doesn't mean he gets to be included in the child's life. His inclusion should be dependent on his level of interest and support for you and the baby. Get yourself to the legal aid office and file for support asap. Find out what your options are independent of him. Take care of you and the baby, and don't feel guilty for that.
Best of luck and keep us posted. <3