Married and in love with an older married man

Hello, I'm looking for some insight. I have been in love with an older married man and have been seeing him for the past 6 years when we can. We live 5 hrs apart. We met through our work. I am also married and I have a great husband that I have been married to for 10 years but have known for 25yrs. I am not and have never really been head over heels, we have always been like very good friends . Sexually I've never been super attracted. Why are we married? Because he is such a great guy. This other man, well I've never been more attracted to someone. Neither one of us plan to leave and we were ok with that until his wife found out and now we do not see each other at all as she controls all he does. The only way we communicate is through a fake email. I am devastated because I can't see him and I now want to stop. I need some encouragement to help me get over him be free of all of this. I love my husband. I wish I wanted him the way I want my lover. I just never have. Anyone else ever felt this way?

In all honesty, I really think the best option here would be to either invest all that you have in your marriage and stop speaking to this other guy, or leave your husband and let him find someone who truly loves him and wants a future with him. I think if you're planning to cheat, and you want to cheat, then there is some serious problems in your relationship. I really think you'd hold give counselling a try. But if you're planning to cheat and you want to cheat in the future, that is not a great sign. I have cheated while extremely drunk in the past prior to marriage, and I absolutely hate myself for it!!!! If I could take it back, I would in a heartbeat, and I would never dream of doing it again or planning to. If I wanted to continuously cheat and I didn't regret it and never want to hurt my partner again, I would seriously consider ending the relationship because it's not healthy for either of you. I think first sort things out with your husband, whether you stay together or not, and if you both choose to end things, only then seek external affairs.