26, trapped, beyond social problems
This is my story. At age 14, my family and I relocated to another country. This was 12.5 years ago. English is our first language
There are not many people from my country of birth in this land, and those that are present are quite hostile.
Thus my family does not have much social interactions with locals let along expats, even to this very day.
At aged 15, I went to an all boys school. It was around this time, I picked up a bad masturbation habit (non homosexual)
I did not have many friends at school not that I struggled to fit in.
This masturbation habit continued when I started university.
At University, interacting with members of the opposite sex was almost non existent, due to the type of course I did.
My Masturbation habit continued, and so did the intensity of the course. There was hardly any time to socialise as well.
I worked in quite a few internships and even got a fantastic graduate job, but the masturbation habit stuck and the level of social interaction became non existent. Even as a family, we hardly attended any social gatherings, it was just work and study. Even religious events became a chore. Exercise and sport was present, but that would hardly count as socializing. During university semester breaks it was just work for the 5 year course, which was male dominated.
It's not that I'm shy with the opposite sex, it's just that the atmosphere of never interacting with the opposite sex since puberty started has seemed to stifle me as a person. I feel that as other people my age move on and get married, I'm stuck in a rut. I ask myself where are my friends, not that I even have any enemies.
Now at age 26, I feel that I am stuck in a time warp, and my masturbation habit is due to a non existent social interactions as a result of being in male dominated environments. Sometimes i feel that since we cannot interact with people of our own kind that stifles me as a person and is a blockage to motivation in life. This is like a never ending cycle. Even though this masturbation habit is under control, it is still like a monkey on my back. Being a slave of the habit every month or so is still not natural.
Does anyone have any advice?
First of all, there is nothing wrong with masturbating once a month or so. I am a 50 year old married woman who has sex with her husband regularly and I masturbate once a month or so. That being said you need to stop using your male dominated career as an excuse for not involving yourself with members of the opposite sex.
You need to make time to form relationships or friendships with people, despite their gender. Are you involved in any recreational activities? Do u go to church, volunteer,play sports, hang out with friends, co workers ? Have you tried online dating? Surround yourself with like minded people. Actively Engage in friendships which will lead to meeting other people, some which may possibly be women.
You will have to work at it if you want it. I wish you the best.
thanks for the advice